Help Wanted
by JonaBee
Summary: A dark force awakens in another demension... again. Ranma's mother is hiding a secret... again. Everything is Ranma's fault... again, and Sailor Pluto is annoyed... Again.
1. Prologue

Help Wanted, By Weebee and Jonakhensu

Disclaimer: Something clever here.

Note: This story has been bouncing around the collective unconscious for a while, and gathering more moss in the form of strange ideas as it went. Since we didn't want it to grow into a fifty series multi-cross of uber-doom, we decided to publish it now. We hope you enjoy it.

Prologue: A Cliché storm summoned by a drunk weather mage.

In a cold, dark room in the deepest section of an abandoned castle, a blond haired man stood, his hands in the pockets of the grey uniform he wore, and wondering if he'd drank far too much the night before. He had no idea why he was in said store room, nor why there were shards of crystal dissolving into the floor, and the last thing he could clearly remember was a 767 trying to crush him into paste. He was relatively sure that said event hadn't happened, as he felt distinctly un-paste-like, though he didn't have any idea what had happened after he'd begun desperately weaving the dark energies needed for a single man teleport spell.

Scowling irritably, Jadeite, first, and to his mind, best of the Dark Generals, pushed the door to the storage room he found himself inside open, entering a long, equally dark hallway with several crumpled bodies laying on the floor. Frowning in confusion, the man walked over to one, kneeling to note that it was a Youma, locked in its inactive state, with no energy to feed it. He currently wasn't sure what part of the dark kingdom he was in, but the dark general was relatively sure that Queen Beryl would vaporize any Youma she found 'sleeping' in a hall like this, so the presence of this one, along with five or six others, simply sprawled out really confused him.

Reaching into his energy reserves, Jadeite was about to awaken the creature, when he realized that his own power was critically low. He stopped himself from expending it, grimacing in irritation, and straightened. "Nephrite," he projected a small amount of energy into his voice, trying to communicate with the other man over even long distances. There was a long, silent beat, and nothing returned his call.

He contemplated calling Kunzite or Zoisite, but both of those two were unhinged, and didn't like him particularly much. They would, no doubt, take advantage of his weakness to kill him if they got the chance, and the blond general was nothing if not good at keeping himself alive. Stepping over the fallen Youma and picking a direction down the hall at random, the grey suited man began to walk, eventually gaining his bearings and heading for Queen Beryl's throne room.

He got there within ten minutes, and poked his head around the side of the door cautiously, knowing that his queen quite liked blasting people first and asking questions later when she was annoyed, though his mouth dropped open in shock when he caught a good look at the location. The entire room was trashed, his queen's throne shattered and the stand where her scrying ball once stood snapped in half. The far wall, where Metalia's presence had always hung, ever-malevolent, was now dark, its crystal only reflecting the minimal light that suffused the Dark Kingdom normally.

"What in the name of Pluto's rod is going on here?" The fair haired general finally burst out, his patience at an end and his 'creeped out' factor rather high. Walking quickly into the throne room, he saw that there were scorch marks all around it, and several piles of dust where Youma had once stood. Whatever had happened, it was violent and likely incredibly short.

There was only one conclusion that he could draw from this, though it was hard to believe. Those three little girls had successfully defeated Queen Beryl, and he was standing in the wreckage of the final battle. "So, what do I do now?" He thought, unsure. At the moment, he was trapped in the Dark Kingdom with nothing but several hundred frozen Youma for company, and barely enough energy to blow up a rock. Sighing, he turned and left the throne room, not entirely sure what he was looking for, but knowing that he didn't want to see the remains of his queen's final defeat, and the other generals' likely deaths, any longer.

HR.

"You've got to be kidding me," Ranma Saotome noted, looking the person before him up and down, and doing his damnedest to try and restrain laughter.

"Be quiet, Saotome!" Hikaru Gosunkugi proclaimed, raising his right hand with a voodoo doll in it to his face, before clenching it tightly, the near-fist beginning to tremble. "I've had enough of this! I will finally defeat you where all of the big, strong martial artists have failed, and then Akane will finally pay attention to me!"

"Right…" The martial artist muttered, looking around the empty lot that the other boy had called him to and being somewhat relieved that no one else was there. He really didn't like beating up on people weaker than him, but Gos usually had the annoying ability to be just barely a serious enough threat to need to be punched in the nose, without looking like it. "Can we just give this up and you keep glaring at me from across the classroom?"

"This isn't a joke, Saotome, and I'll prove it!" The candle-wearing boy said, loosening his grip on the voodoo doll, before producing a strand of black hair and tying it around the thing's neck. "Now, watch this!" Saying that, he tugged one of the thing's arms hard, actually tearing it slightly.

"I'm watching," Ranma said, tapping his foot, as nothing proceeded to happen.

"I… I mean," Gos stuttered, looking down at the hair in confusion, before tugging the arm harder, this time ripping it completely off. After this, he threw the doll to the ground and stomped on it several times. "Why… why aren't you in hideous pain?"

"Because your magic only ever works when you buy it out of the back of a comic book or something?" Ranma said, his eyebrow twitching. "Now are ya done? I've got some 'o Kasumi's dinner to eat back home."

"How could this possibly, I know I did it right, I know it! I won't be humiliated by you again!" Gosunkugi proclaimed, loudly, before removing his hammer and a long, rusty nail from his school uniform, charging towards the pigtailed martial artist with it. Snorting in annoyance, Ranma reached out, catching the other boy's arm and gently extracting the hammer, before throwing it over his shoulder. When the thinner boy tried to stab him in the eye with the nail, he moved his head to the side, before moving it back sharply, smacking Gosunkugi's hand open with the side of his head and sending the sharp object tumbling to the ground.

"C'mon, Gos, this is stupid," the martial artist said. "I enjoy a good challenge as much as anyone, but this ain't a challenge." He shrugged. "If ya wanna talk ta Akane so much, walk up 'n say hi, don't try and kill me 'cuz then I have to fight you like this, and both of us just get humiliated."

"I'll show you humiliated!" Gos said, still not giving up even though his arm was still caught. Reaching into his shirt with the hand that had once held his nail, he came out with a small scroll which he slapped onto Ranma's chest. Ranma's response, having had dealings with Gosunkugi and things attached to himself before, was to reach down and grab the paper, trying to tear it free, but it didn't seem to want to come off.

"Ahahahahahahaha!" Gos proclaimed. "That is a demonic summoning scroll! Soon, a being from the Negaverse will emerge to destroy you!"

Ranma rolled his eyes and cursed himself. At least, the thing hadn't been one of those stupid paper dolls, but he really shouldn't have let his guard down, even if it was against Gos. Pulling at the paper harder than he had before, it seemed to be affixed, and unbreakable. He tried channeling Chi to his hand and burning it off that way, but that only seemed to make things worse, as the paper started glowing a bright blue, similar to his own life energy.

"Now," Gosunkugi proclaimed. "Denizens of the Negaverse, I summon thee!" As he spoke this incantation, the paper pulsed once, and a man dropped on Ranma's head. Given that the pigtailed boy was rather distracted, this sudden weight proceeded to drop him onto his back, the newcomer sitting on his chest and looking extremely confused.

Looking around, he seemed to lose his confusion rather quickly, and smiled slightly. "That was much easier than I had thought," he noted, standing. Ranma took this opportunity to stand as well, and looked between the man, a blond wearing a blue-grey suit with red piping running down the chest and sides of his legs.

"So, this is your demon?" He asked, deadpan, throwing a glance over to the failure mage, though he did bring up his defenses, in case the blond was more than he seemed to be.

"But," Gos sputtered. "It was supposed to be female, and monstrous… at least according to the scroll." He shook his head. "Never mind, Negaversal being, I command thee to attack my enemy!" He proclaimed, striking a heroic pose, lightning crackling in the sky above him, the result of a technique he'd learned by observing Tatewaki Kuno, and something that he thought rather enhanced his powerful sorcerer mystique.

"Negaverse?" The blond man asked, giving the boy an odd look. "I don't know of anything called the Negaverse, and I would not be inclined to follow your commands even if I did."

"What?" The candle wearing boy sputtered. "But… but I summoned you!"

Jadeite sighed, agreeing. "Well yes, I suppose you're right," he admitted. After all, he had been trapped in the Dark Kingdom without any way of teleporting out, and hadn't been very successful in finding anything to help him do so before he was suddenly swept to earth, where he could possibly gain more energy. He wasn't sure what he was going to do, but gaining a little more power was definitely something he wanted to do first. Turning to Ranma, he nodded. "Him?" he asked.

"Yes, him!" His summoner said, pointing dramatically. "Destroy him!"

Jadeite shrugged. "Sorry, kid," he said. "I need to get some energy from somewhere, and I do owe him one."

Ranma sighed. "Yeah, figured," he said, resigned. "How well can you regenerate?"

Jadeite blinked. "Um, not very well?" he asked, confused.

"Okay, got it," Ranma said, before tightening his guard, letting his eyes take in his new opponent's stance. The blond man seemed like he might be a bit of a fighter, his stance hinting at some training in something, though he didn't know what in. Still, he figured he'd better play it safe, as demons were usually pretty tricky, and he didn't want to charge head first into one.

Seeing his opponent's ready, defensive stance, Jadeite smirked. He observed that the other seemed to be well trained in the martial arts, but this would only be a good thing, as it meant that he was healthy and would have a pretty good energy reserve. As he noted this, he shaped some of his remaining power into the configuration of a life-force siphon spell, and aimed it at his target. The stream of power he got was quite respectable, and he smiled as his reserves began to fill, though he was surprised that the silk clothed boy didn't seem to be weakening much from the drain.

For his part, Ranma was frowning, as he felt a very familiar sensation, though it was a lot slower than he was used to from Hinako. Narrowing his eyes, he drew his battle aura inside of his body, and though he could still feel an energy drain, it had decreased dramatically. Seeing his enemy's upraised hand, and the fact that it was crackling with blue energy, he dashed forward as quickly as he could, grabbed the blond by the arm and pointed it at Gosunkugi for a moment before twisting it behind his grey suited back, hard.

Just as Ranma had thought, the rather weedy boy fell to the ground, asleep, after only a second of exposure to the energy draining attack, and the pigtailed martial artist smirked. "Give up, or I make yer shoulder even more uncomfortable," he threatened, jerking the arm slightly upwards.

Jadeite winced, clenching his teeth for a moment and very, very impressed with the human who now stood behind him. Not only had the boy somehow managed to realize what he was doing, but he'd used the blond's own power to take out his 'master,' and immediately put him in an incapacitating position after he was done.

"Ya give up?" Ranma asked easily, not seeming to be making any effort in keeping the Dark General contained.

Jadeite frowned. Normally, he wouldn't give up this easily, but it took his body time to convert human life force into the dark energy he used for his magic, and he'd been letting his hand to hand skills lapse over the past few thousand years. Reluctantly, he nodded, and the pressure on his arm was immediately released.

Turning in surprise, he saw his opponent smiling at him. "All right, if that's it, I'm gunna go get dinner," the boy said, beginning to turn and walk off.

Jadeite opened and closed his mouth a few times, before shrugging and walking his own way, vaguely wondering why the Sailor Senshi hadn't shown up to spoil his operations yet.

HR.

Later that day, Jadeite hid behind a tree, and tried to look small as a glowing, winged Senshi stood across from some sort of demon in one of the Juuban district's many small parks. The woman looked, vaguely, like Sailor Mercury, though she was approximately thirty years old, and her hair was a little longer.

This, however, wasn't the most evident change, as power seemed to roll off of her in waves, and the demon, which had seemed an order of magnitude stronger than his Youma, was having trouble fighting what he had considered the least offensively capable of the three Senshi he knew about.

Frowning darkly, the blond peeked out slightly further from the tree, and winced as the blue haired woman spread her hands in front of herself, forming a small, crystalline harp out of mid-air, before announcing "Mercury Aqua Rhapsody!" As several powerful blasts of water shot from the harp, impacting the monster, Jadeite flinched.

Yes, tangling with the Senshi directly when his power base was as low as it was would be a bad idea. As he thought this, the ice Senshi manifested her scan visor and began turning in his direction. The man cursed, quickly invoking an automatic teleport back to the Dark Kingdom, and wondering if she'd seen him.

As he straightened up, he noted that the Dark Kingdom seemed a lot lighter than he remembered, specifically as he gazed at a white painted wall. Turning slowly in confusion, he noted that he was standing in a small room, a large tub full of steaming water on one wall. As he turned further, to see the other wall, his eyes widened, just as he was grabbed by the front of his uniform.

HR.

Ranma Saotome grumbled to herself, looking down at her left breast and wondering if she could pound Gosunkugi for it. There, melded into the skin, was an arrangement of black letters in a language she hadn't seen, forming a pentagram. She knew that earlier in the day, when she'd been a he, Gos's summoning scroll had hit him in the chest, but she had no idea that it would do this.

Sighing, she brought up the wash cloth to try and scrub the mark off, for the second time, and as she ran the cloth over the symbol, it changed colours from black to brightly glowing blue. She frowned at it. It was probably magic, and she really didn't want anything like that tattooed onto her skin, especially given what had happened with that ultimate weakness moxibustion thing.

As she thought this, a wave of cold air seemed to wash over her, and she shivered. When she heard footsteps, she looked up, just in time to see the blond demon guy from earlier in the day turning his eyes to look straight at her. She moved instantly, grabbing him by the front of the shirt and slamming him into the wall. "What the hell're you doing here?" she demanded, irritably.

The blond's eyes widened, and he looked around, confused. Ranma let her grip loosen as she noticed that he looked about as lost as Ryoga did whenever he entered a room. "Um," he tried, uncertain. "Do I know you?"

The redhead sighed, forcibly pulling back her Kuno bashing instincts. "Turn around, open the door, and leave. Wait in the hall, 'n I'll be out. You look at anything, I break bones."

The blond man looked rather bemused, but followed the redhead's instructions as she set him down, turning to the door and sliding it open to reveal a second small room, with another door out of it that lead into a hallway. He stood there for a few moments, noting that he was apparently on the second floor of what looked like a traditional Japanese house. Unfortunately, he had no idea how he'd gotten there, and was inclined not to try and teleport back to the dark kingdom, for fear that the rather angry seeming girl in the bathroom would make good on her threat to break bones. Given how quickly she'd grabbed him and smashed him against the wall, he had no illusions about her ability to do so.

"I could really use a few dozen Youma about now," the dark general noted, as a second human female came up the steps from the first floor of the house, carrying a pile of clothing.

"Oh," she said, looking surprised as she saw the rather formally dressed man standing next to the door to the bathroom. "We apparently have a guest."

Jadeite wanted to simply ignore her, continuing to think about what he was going to do, and perhaps leaving this house before the girl in the bathroom was finished, though something in the smile of the serene, brown haired woman who now stood before him compelled him to answer. "I shouldn't be here for very long, it was an accident involving a teleport spell." He hadn't meant to say that second part, though the woman simply smiled at him, as though teleport spells were perfectly normal, and walked past him to a room with a duck on the door, opening it and walking in.

Perhaps, the general thought, given that girl's reaction, he was in a house of mages of some sort. He wasn't sure if that was a very good thing or a very bad thing, though it did somewhat explain how his teleport had been redirected.

When the brown haired woman exited the room with the duck on it, she smiled at the blond again. "Would you like to come downstairs and have some tea before you leave?" She offered, kindly.

Jadeite shrugged, before nodding, following the girl downstairs. It was likely that he would have to leave the house the normal way, as he wasn't sure what was wrong with his teleport spell at the moment, but doubted the short red haired girl he'd just popped in on would be very appreciative if he'd done it again. As he reached the base of the stairs, the man looked around, observing that the first floor looked a lot more battered than the second, as he could see at least one hole in a nearby wall. "Excuse me," he asked, as the girl was turning to enter the kitchen. "Where exactly am I?"

The girl giggled. "Ah, just like poor Ryoga-kun," she noted. "You're in the Tendo home. We're in Nerima ward, Furinkan district."

The man nodded slowly. He was, apparently, in the same area that he'd been in when first teleported from the Dark Kingdom. Frowning, he hoped that he wouldn't have all of his transport spells redirect here, as that would be rather... inconvenient. Seeing his frown, the girl spoke up.

"Please, take a seat in the living room, and if you're lost, I'm sure Ranma-kun or Akane-chan can help you find where you need to be," She reassured, gesturing across the hall from the kitchen entrance.

Nodding, Jadeite turned, entering a large room with a low table set in its center, and a large set of double doors that led out into a yard. Inside the room were two old men who didn't even notice him, too caught up in some form of strategy based board game which, it seemed, they were cheating rampantly at, along with a brown haired girl wearing a set of cut-off shorts and a tight blue and white striped T-shirt, who was reading USA Today.

Sitting at the table and watching the news was an older woman in a formal Kimono, who was the only one to look up as he entered. "Oh, hello," she said, before her eyes widened, and she shot to her feet. The dark general tensed, preparing for an attack, which seemed to be par for the course for today, before the woman did something very unexpected, which also seemed rather par for the course for today, and sank back to her knees, bowing and touching her head to the floor.

"Jadeite-Sama, it is truly wonderful to see you!" The woman exclaimed.

Jadeite blinked, The girl in the cut-offs blinked, and he was pretty sure that one of the two strategy game players blinked as well, which cost him as the other slipped an extra piece onto the board. The room fell into deep silence for a moment, before a new voice burst it. "Okay, what the heck's goin on here?"

The voice was gruff, male, and Jadeite recognized it. Turning, he saw the boy who he had been 'summoned to defeat' earlier in the day, standing at the base of the stairs in a red silk shirt and pair of loose black pants, and with a glare on his face. "Mom, why're you bowing to some random Hinako-sensei knock-off?" He looked to Jadeite and shrugged. "No offense."

"Ranma," The still bowing woman hissed. "Please, pay more respect to one of the lords of our people!"

Ranma sighed, rolling his eyes. 'This is gunna be one of those days, ain't it?' He thought, sourly.

END.

End Note: OMG! It's a cliff hanger, how cliche...

Don't forget to R&R to beg us to make the hurting stop.


	2. Prologue 2: Damned Cliffhangers

Um, we really should have added this to the first post, but Weebee's compulsive posting syndrome got away from him, and we honestly couldn't resist the cliffhanger. As a result, here's prologue 2. We're sorry for the inconveniance.

Prologue 2: Damned Cliffhangers.

The Tendo living room fell silent for the second time in five minutes, as Nodoka Saotome's last statement reverberated through everyone's minds.

"What?" Ranma asked, deadpan, looking between his mother and the blond who was standing in the middle of the room. Much to his surprise, the man had said pretty much the same thing at the same time, though he had been a bit more articulate about it.

"I have people?" he mumbled, the only beings fitting that description having been the Youma in the Dark Kingdom and his fellow generals.

"Of course, Jadeite-sama," Nodoka said, before raising her head, as bowing for that long was beginning to give her a crick in her neck. Looking past the tall man to her son, she winced as she noted the confused look on his face, and that wince only got worse when she remembered that her husband was sitting nearby, playing Shogi. "Perhaps I should have thought before speaking," she muttered, nervously.

"Well, it definitely shows that you're Ranma's mother," Nabiki drawled, earning a sharp look from the Kimono clad woman.

The auburn haired woman eventually sighed as she took in the questioning looks from all around, and stood. "Ranma, there is something I haven't told you yet," she began.

"If it turns out he's adopted, I'm charging you for the bet losses," Nabiki chipped in, before getting a death glare from the Saotome matriarch that abruptly reminded her why she never included the older woman in her schemes.

"Ranma is not adopted," she snapped. Meanwhile, Kasumi had entered the room with a tray full of tea, setting it on the dining table and taking a seat to listen interestedly to the latest bit of insanity.

"Okay," Ranma said, "So what haven't ya told me, and who's this guy you're calling 'Jadeite-Sama?'"

The man in question was rather curious as well, taking a seat next to Kasumi and grabbing one of the cups of tea. After all, he hadn't really gotten a chance to eat anything since right after he'd challenged the Senshi to their final fight, and almost dieing was thirsty work.

Nodoka looked uncomfortable. "Perhaps I should show you," she said, before closing her eyes and starting to glow with a sort of dark aura. As she did so, her body rippled, growing about half a foot, her legs seemed to rearrange in a fashion that Kasumi thought should have made several loud cracks, but didn't, and her Kimono seemed to truncate itself, revealing more of her legs and chest as soft, white hair grew in all over her body, even her auburn hair changing to a darker colour and growing somewhat over her forehead.

By the time the transformation was complete, the woman's face was even completely different, the nose jutting forward in a narrow muzzle with sharp teeth peaking out of it, and her eyes having narrowed slightly.

"Um," Ranma said, succinctly, unsure of how to respond to his mother turning into something from a Lon Chaney movie, complete with a long, furry tail whipping behind her. Genma, on the other hand, was a lot less conflicted.

The rather overweight man immediately bolted up, scowling ferociously. "Demon, what have you done with my wife?" He demanded, angrily.

Nodoka sighed, slapping her forehead with one of her paw-like hands. "Husband," she groaned, her muzzle somehow not distorting her speech. "I thought I told you about this."

Genma blinked, and then looked kind of sheepish. "I... thought I was just too drunk," he admitted, slouching down to his seat by the Shogi board.

"You knew about this?" Ranma asked, looking at his father, trying to be surprised but failing spectacularly.

"Well, you kind of have to when your wife absorbs your life force when you're..." Genma snapped his mouth shut, and Ranma was rather thankful that he didn't finish his sentence.

"So, you're a Youma," Jadeite said, slightly surprised himself. "One of the infiltrators I set out against the Senshi?"

Nodoka nodded. "Kado," she said, "Of the first infiltration team."

"So, Saotome, looks like Kuno could be right about something," Nabiki observed. "Guess you're a demon spawn."

Ranma twitched, while Jadeite nodded. "Technically, Youma aren't demons," he corrected.

"Y'know, that doesn't help much," Ranma grumbled, getting a flinch from the wolf creature that was apparently his mother. "Sorry, Mom," he muttered. "Could ya turn back, that's kinda creepy."

"There's Saotome, as tactful as ever," Nabiki commented, though Nodoka didn't seem to notice this, shifting back to her human form, and her clothes somehow reforming to protect her modesty.

"Perhaps I should have told him when we first met," she pondered, quietly.

"Coulda helped," Ranma agreed, but then shrugged. "But things were kinda hectic back then, so it coulda made me go nuts or something."

Kasumi nodded. "You both did seem rather tense," she contributed.

"Well," Genma noted, turning back to his game of Shogi, and looking over to Jadeite for a moment. "You're my wife's old boss, very nice to meet you." Soun Tendo, who had been trying to ignore this whole scene, grunted and nodded.

The blond man in question blinked, looking over to Kasumi, who still sat next to him drinking tea. "They seem to be taking this well," he observed.

"It's been a rather peaceful day," Kasumi said.

Jadeite's eyebrow twitched.

HR.

Forty minutes later, Jadeite was longing for a stiff drink of Venusian brandy, as he sat across from what was probably his last active servant on Earth and was given a status report that was hard for even him to believe.

The first part was reasonably easy to swallow, that 'Nodoka,' as she now called herself, had gone into hiding when he'd fallen, waiting for a chance to eliminate the Senshi. When the Dark Kingdom's forces fell, apparently helped along by the joining of two new Senshi and the recovery of the Silver Crystal, she'd revised her plans a little, married a strong human who could provide the life energy she needed to survive without being harmed by it, and decided to live out the rest of her spectacularly long life.

It had been what any of the other reconnaissance division Youma, some of the weakest, yet most adaptable, that Beryl had, would do in her situation. The problem was that things had rapidly changed after that, going in directions he hadn't expected. He hadn't expected her to go through the massive energy expenditure of creating a child, even if the mixture with the human life force and genetic material had made it easier, and that child's life, not to mention strength, was nothing short of amazing.

According to what he'd seen, and what Nodoka knew, the boy was as strong as one of the Seven Shadows, and much, much smarter. The blond grinned evilly. He didn't have much of a power base, with one active subject and another whom he wasn't sure he held much influence over, but what he did have was reasonably formidable.

Nodoka, for her part, winced at the grin she saw. "Jadeite-sama," She said, tentatively. "You... aren't going to ask me to send Ranma against the Senshi, are you? They've grown a lot more powerful since our queen was defeated, and it would be hard for me to get him to move against them."

Jadeite considered rebuking the Youma before him for questioning him the way she had and then smacked himself in the side of the head. 'Don't act like Beryl,' he thought to himself, irritably, 'she has a good point.' "You're right," he finally said. "I will have to think before doing anything."

Nodoka sighed in relief, standing from her kneeling position before the Dark General, and exiting the Tendo Dojo, where he'd asked to stay until he found a way to return to the Dark Kingdom. She knew where her loyalties had once been, and took them, and her honor, very seriously, but she really wished that her son wouldn't be involved in all of this.

She looked back for only a few seconds, before sliding the Dojo's main door closed, and starting for the house, not noticing a small purple and white blur dashing for the compound wall.

HR.

Akane Tendo found Ranma sitting on the roof, looking out at the streets that surrounded the Tendo Dojo, and looking as though his favorite cat eating animal had died. She frowned, having not expected this to be the first thing she came home to, other than a secretive Nabiki and a cheerfully oblivious Kasumi, after a fun sleepover at Yuka's place.

"What happened?" She asked, in a somewhat resigned tone, hoping that another fiancee hadn't shown up.

"Kuno's right about something," Ranma mumbled back, still staring at the street.

The blue-black haired girl shook her head, climbing up from her room's open window, where she'd originally been observing Ranma, and onto the roof nearby. "Kuno's never right," she objected.

Ranma shrugged. "Turns out I'm actually a demon spawn."

Akane blinked several times. "Huh?" She asked, about as articulately as he had earlier.

"Earlier today Gos summoned some guy when trying to get a demon to destroy me," the pigtailed martial artist explained. "Turns out he's Mom's old boss, and she's from some demonic army or something."

For a moment, the youngest Tendo wondered if her Fiancee had been hit in the head too hard, but then recalled that there hadn't been any holes in the walls or craters in the back yard. "You're serious?" She asked, stunned.

Ranma nodded.

"Well, um," The youngest Tendo offered, not sure what to say. "What's going to happen now?"

Ranma shrugged. "Dunno," he confessed. "Apparently, all this guy's friends got destroyed by the Sailor Senshi almost twenty years ago, so I guess it's just another strange thing to add onto the collection. Hopefully, nothin else's gunna come out of it other than Mom turning into a werewolf or something."

Akane rolled her eyes. "That's likely," she noted.

"Yeah, I know," Ranma grumbled. "'s why I'm up here, before crap hits the fan again." He leaned back, taking his vision off of the road as the sky began to darken and looking up into the sky.

Akane did so as well, somewhat unsteadily and wondering if she was going to fall off of the roof. "I guess you'll see tomorrow," she contributed.

"Yeah, well, just remember it ain't my fault and don't flatten me into the wall this time, okay Tomboy?" Ranma asked, grinning up at the sky.

"I don't know," Akane said, smirking herself. "The Sailor Senshi do wear pretty skimpy outfits, you know."

Ranma just rolled his eyes.

HR.

Dr. Ami Mizuno rubbed her nose, as the urge to sneeze came, yet was easily suppressed. Taking off her white lab coat, she grimaced down at the grass stains it had accumulated that afternoon, when she'd ended up being knocked over by a demon on her lunch break and had to fight it.

"All of our enemies have been gone for fifteen years, and the demons still show up every week or so," she grumbled. Then, she recalled the last thing she'd seen during the fight, and her displeasure got worse. Pulling the Mercury computer out of its usual subspace hole, she flipped it open, expertly manipulating it to show a large, yellow and grey blob. "Figures," she snorted, closing the device and putting it back.

Walking into the kitchen and putting on a pot of instant noodles, the ice Senshi took out her communicator and hit the all call button, figuring that she would be finished by the time the full conference had gotten together.

As it turned out, she was both correct and incorrect at the same time, as she had finished cooking the noodles by the time the communicator chimed, but when she flipped it open, she only saw six other Senshi and one moon cat.

"Where are Mamoru, Haruka and Luna?" the doctor asked, curiously.

"Haruka's racing right now," Michiru answered, and was followed by a massive crash from Artemis's channel.

"You don't want to know where those two are," he advised, solemnly.

Ami sweat dropped. "Okay..." she said, and then shook her head. "I wanted to call in to report another demon attack in Juuban, and something strange that I saw after it."

"You called about a demon attack?" Rei asked, looking irritable. "Most of us can vaporize those things in about thirty seconds, and I've got to go on stage in ten minutes."

"I'm sure it's important if Ami's called us all about it," Hotaru disagreed. "What did you see?"

"I'm pretty sure it was Jadeite," the blue haired Senshi said, quietly. "It's been a while, but the Dark General uniform is pretty distinctive."

"Couldn't have been," Usagi objected, as another crashing noise came from her and Artemis's channels, "We ran him over with an airplane."

"You wha..." Makoto started, astonished.

"Well, he tried to do it first," Usagi justified, petulantly.

"I knew airplanes were evil," Makoto grumbled, darkly.

"Look, that's not important right now," Ami cut in. "I saw him, and I know I did... unfortunately the Mercury Computer only scanned him as a source of dark energy and some blurred images."

"I don't know," Michiru said. "I would imagine being run over by an aircraft would kill someone rather well."

"Yeah, Ami, you're probably seeing goats," Minako chipped in.

"That's, um, seeing Ghosts, Mina-chan," Makoto cut in. "I don't know, but I've got a steak being incinerated over here, can you call if you get any more information?"

"I'll tell Haruka, and see if I can contact Setsuna," Michiru offered. "But you know how easy that is."

Ami sighed. "All right, I'll call if I see him again."

The other Senshi nodded, before the communicator's screen snapped off, and the ice Senshi grimaced, slipping the small device into a pocket. "I don't think I've been told I was seeing things by that many people at once before," she observed, irritably, before starting on her instant noodles.

HR.

"!" A purple blur ran into the Nekohanten, screaming something incomprehensible at the top of its lungs, finally coming to rest in the back room, leaning against a counter and panting.

"Son in law is a what?" Cologne asked, as she sat on top of her staff, stirring a pot of rice with a spoon.

"Airen mother is big, scary wolf demon," Shampoo said, slowly. "She called Youma, and she work for some dark kingdom thing, tell yellow hair man Ranma half demon," the younger Amazon said, slowing down to a somewhat understandable level, despite her broken Japanese.

Cologne contemplated telling her great granddaughter to speak Chinese, so that she could get a better grasp of the situation, but decided against it. The girl would learn the foreigners' tongue or sound like an idiot, and she wasn't going to coddle her.

"I see," the old woman said, removing the spoon and setting it on the counter before stroking her chin. "I have never heard of a 'Youma,' did youu manage to figure out what kind of demon it is through the village's clasification system, child?"

"Um," Shampoo said, looking sheepish. "Shampoo forgot."

The old woman sighed, shaking her head. "Well, the village's rules on this matter are clear, you understand, but I'm going to have to confirm it myself before I can declare your marriage to son in law over."

"You're annulling that sham of a marriage?" Mousse's voice abruptly butted into the scene, as the master of hidden weapons skipped out of the back supply room, holding a can of sauce that the elder had asked him to get. "Oh, Shampoo, what a happy occasion this..." The boy immediately stopped in his tracks, his eyes, behind their thick glasses, going wide, before he hit the linoleum floor with a thud and a nose bleed.

"You may wish to go get some clothing, great granddaughter," Cologne observed. "The customers have gotten enough of a free show for the night."

"Aiya..." Shampoo moaned, covering her chest and crotch before immediately running upstairs.

"Told you it was the best place in the district," a brown haired boy who went to Ranma and Akane's school said, as he grinned widely from a seat nearby. "The freshest rumors, and a free show."

"Uhhuh," his companion, a somewhat older man with very similar features, noted with a glassy eyed stare. "This happens often?"

"More than they'd like to admit," the boy stated cheerfully.

Cologne sighed, sitting on the counter and poking Mousse with her staff, before looking up into the ceiling. "I suppose you are going to be telling your master," she said to empty air.

"Of course," a voice came back immediately.

"I don't suppose you could do some damage control on the facts?" The elder asked. While she quite enjoyed the show around her Son in Law most of the time, it wasn't nearly as much fun if it got too chaotic, and may even hurt someone.

"With my master?" The voice questioned, somehow managing to be both deferential and scathing.

"Of course," Cologne said, rolling her eyes. "I hope you know I won't be feeding you extra ramen for a week."

"Aww..." the voice said, before the Amazon matriarch returned her attention to the rice pot, which was ominously boiling.

HR.

"All right," Jadeite grumbled, as he traced a line. "The key rune connects through the locator runes, the power focus rune, and..." As the set of markings drawn on a small mat in the middle of the Dojo flared, incinerating the mat, the dark general grimaced. "Nephrite was always better at this."

Sitting back, the man contemplated getting another of the few pieces of matting he'd borrowed from the polite homemaker, Kasumi, but shook his head. At the moment, he simply didn't have the information needed to construct a complex transportation spell to the dark kingdom, and when he had tried to use his simple one again, he had ended up materializing on the building's roof, next to Ranma and a girl he hadn't seen before, who were both staring up at the stars.

Unfortunately, all of the tomes that would tell him how to inscribe a trans-dimensional teleportation circle were back in the dark kingdom, with his army of sleeping Youma, and, of course, more importantly, all of his spare clothes. Still, he was much more on top of things than he really had a right to be, as he still recalled the secret identities of three of the kingdom's worst enemies, and, hopefully, the Senshi had no idea he was back. Also, he had somehow ended up stumbling upon some sort of energy treasure trove.

He had, just for experimentation, drained a small amount of energy from the fat man that was apparently married to Nodoka, and ended up with a similar amount to what a normal human would give when drained to near death. If he could set up a base of operations here, perhaps he would be able to gain enough power and influence to undermine the Senshi before he had to fight them.

To him, subtlety had always been best, and now he had all the time in the world. Nodding decisively, he stood and walked over to get another mat, imbuing his finger with energy and beginning to etch the runes again. "Key rune connects..."

END.

Again, Please R&R, and we're glad that the readers so far have liked the story. Sorry about this.


	3. Chapter 1: A Day in the Life

A new chapter for all you guys. Hope you enjoy it, and please tell us what you think.

Chapter 1: A Day in the Life...

Jadeite woke sprawled out over a tatami mat with several glowing runes covering its surface, and with a massive backache. Channeling some power into taking care of that, he pushed himself to a kneeling position, looking around to note that he was still in the training hall that he'd been lent to sleep in, and he'd been awakened by the sound of the door to the outside sliding open, to reveal a blue-black haired girl in a martial arts uniform of some sort who was looking at him curiously.

"Oh, sorry," the girl said quickly. "No one told me someone would be in here."

Jadeite rubbed his eyes, getting to his feet, and very thankful that none of the Youma could see him so tired. "It's fine," he assured, not really wanting to upset his hosts, and rather familiar with courtesy through his efforts to not get blasted by his queen.

The girl nodded, entering the training hall and walking past him to bow to a shrine nearby. As she did so, her eye caught the runes he'd drawn on the mat on the floor, and she blinked. "What are you doing with that?" She asked, in a combination of curiosity and wariness, wondering if something else magical was going to cause problems.

"I'm trying to construct a portal to go home," the dark general explained. "It should be done later today." He was, of course, lying through his teeth about the timeframe, but had already been seen acting rather incompetent in the last two days.

"Hmm," the girl noted, bending down to study the sheet. "But," she said, uncertainly, "Shouldn't this one be over here?" She pointed to one of the coordinate runes, and then gestured to an empty space on the mat near the outside edge. "It would fit the pattern better, wouldn't it?"

"There's a pattern?" Jadeite asked, confused, though as he thought about it, her suggested change would likely increase the harmonics of the rune circle.

"Yeah, it's like this," the girl said, smiling, and seeming to forget why she was in the Dojo as she started tracing out various changes to the diagram with her hand.

"I... don't see a pattern," the dark general admitted, though he did note that several of the changes she'd recommended sounded workable.

"Oh, all right," the blue-black haired girl said, standing and stretching. "I'm going to train on the other side of the room, so be careful if you want to go there, all right?"

Jadeite nodded, looking down at the runic diagram and trying to puzzle out all of the things the girl had said, when he heard a tremendous splash from outside. The girl seemed to just roll her eyes, though he was curious, walking to the door and looking out to see the black haired boy, Ranma, fighting what looked to be a giant panda.

As the blond watched, somewhat startled, the very heavy looking animal lept into the air, the boy following, and the two seemed to hang there, somehow trading their momentum back and forth in what looked to be, and he was pretty sure was, a physically impossible fashion. The punches blurred for several seconds, before the Panda saw an opening in Ranma's defense, pouncing on it. This turned out to be a mistake, as the boy grabbed the animal's paw, throwing himself further into the air and sending it splashing into the pond.

"Stupid ol' man, got ya again," the martial artist said, smirking, as he settled to a nearby rock, only to be interrupted by a large wave hitting him in the side of the head. "And... why do I always let that happen?" The short redhead that remained griped.

"Because you have always been, and will always be, sloppy boy," a sign pulled out by the animal proclaimed.

"Right," the redhead grumbled. "Shut up, ol' man."

She and the panda turned to the house, the latter shaking its fur as best it could to dry off, as Jadeite gaped from the Dojo door. "Stupid showoff," he heard a voice from behind him, and turned to see the girl in the fighting outfit, though she was grinning while she said it. "Hey, are you a martial artist? I could use a morning spar."

The man frowned. "Unfortunately, I don't have my sword with me," he answered, immediately getting a grimace from the girl.

At his inquisitive look, she blushed. "I don't really like sword users that much, usually," she admitted, shuddering as she could have sworn she heard the sound of a thunder clap from nearby.

The general merely tilted his head for a moment, before the voice of the oldest Tendo rolled across the yard. "Akane-chan, Jadeite-san, breakfast is ready!"

The girl, who was apparently Akane, grinned widely and dashed past him. Shrugging, the blond followed her.

HR.

Breakfast at the Tendo home was an interesting event, Jadeite thought. It seemed, for the most part, like any other breakfast, aside from the fact that all of the servings, aside from his and the girl known as Nabiki's, were enough to fill most people up for an entire day.

Also, Ranma, who had changed back to male form, and his father, who was still a panda, were having what looked like a chopstick based fencing match over their portions, while Nodoka frowned at them disapprovingly. The dark general tuned out most of the small talk, enjoying a quite delicious meal, until someone addressed him directly.

"So, Jadeite-san," Mr. Tendo said, from behind his newspaper, "What do you plan on doing today?"

The dark general thought for a moment. He wasn't inclined to tell a group of mostly normal humans his true goals, but then they already knew that he was a general who had formerly been under the command of a woman who meant to take over the planet, and had greeted the revelation with the same amount of surprise as would be seen if he'd mentioned that he was Austrian.

Nabiki smirked. "You're not going to try and take over the world in your old mistress's place, are you?" She asked, only half joking. "Then we'd end up having to fix the house again when Ranma went all hero to stop you."

"Hey, I'd help too," Akane objected, irritably.

"Great, up go the repair bills," Nabiki smirked evilly, getting a glare from her sister.

Nodoka frowned at the middle Tendo, wishing that she would show Jadeite-sama some respect, though she supposed the girl really didn't have any reason to. Still, she seemed sorely lacking in common politeness, at least when she wanted to be blunt. "Nabiki-chan," she rebuked gently, but it seemed to roll off of the girl's back.

""I wouldn't be able to take over the planet if I wanted to," Jadeite explained. "Without Metalia's power, the conventional armies would stop my Youma forces eventually, and there would be too many losses."

"You mean he was actually considering it?" Soun mumbled, from behind his paper.

"At the moment, I want to scout out the area for resources, and perhaps get enough energy to revive the Youma. I'm sure that even in stasis sleep, they might be running out soon." The man explained, gravely.

Nodoka paled. "I... never realized," she said, worried.

"Youma," Ranma cut in, though only after swallowing his meal. Several glares from his mother over the months had helped immeasurably with that. "Wolf people, like Mom?"

"Not all Youma are wolf-like," Nodoka explained, patiently. "We have many different forms, though we're mostly classified as other-dimensional beings who need a source of external energy other than food to live."

"Oh," Ranma said, slightly confused, but mostly understanding.

"Do you have any idea how long we would have to get the energy to them?" The auburn haired woman asked, concerned.

Jadeite shook his head. "I didn't feel much in them," he explained. "Maybe a year, given how long it's been already."

"So, wait," Akane said, suddenly thinking of something. "They can sleep for twenty years, and they take life force to live?" She blinked. "I wonder if Happosai's one?"

Nodoka flinched violently. "I hope not," she let herself say, before realizing what she'd said and raising a hand to her mouth.

"There could be another living Youma?" Jadeite asked, interestedly.

"Trust me, ya don't want anything to do with the old freak," Ranma cut in, quickly. "I don't care if he's human or not, he's a twisted little monster."

"You're just saying that because of the fr..." Nabiki started, before getting cut off by one of the most intense glares she'd ever received. "I... think I'll be going to school now," she said, quietly, standing to leave the house.

"Oh, she's right, school's going to start soon!" Akane exclaimed, shooting to her feet. "Come on, Ranma!"

"Okay, I'm comin," Ranma grumbled, polishing off his and Akane's bowls more quickly than Jadeite could see and running after the girl as she charged down the hall and out of the house.

HR.

Tatewaki Kuno always loved a good round of posing. In fact, he had even done a couple dramatic poses on his way to school this morning, including thunder claps, just for the practice. Today, he felt, was a very good time to be posing dramatically. He had found Saotome's ultimate weakness.

To think, after hours of information gathering, (by Sasuke,) and researching, (also by Sasuke,) he would finally use the sorcerer's foul magic against him, and in the same way as the beautiful warrior soldiers who had once banished demons of this ilk before.

For a moment, he let himself slip off into a fantasy of thanking the dark haired beauty for her help in his noble quest, and then proposing marriage to her, when he was jolted out of his musings by the steadily approaching sight of the fiend himself, dragging the poor, defenseless Akane Tendo behind in some invisible spell.

"Halt, you disgusting blight upon the world of men," the blue thunder proclaimed, bringing his family Katana into a ready stance. Saotome immediately did so, eying the live steel nervously, though trying, in vain, to conceal it.

"What do you want, Kuno?" He growled, irritably.

"I have found out what, in truth, you are!" The Blue Thunder proclaimed, swinging the blade up to point at his hated enemy. "Now, I shall destroy you and my two beloveds will throw themselves into my arms!"

Saotome rolled his eyes, showing his contempt for the nobility of the Kuno family. "Okay, get on with it," he said, standing with his hands in his pockets and giving off an irritating smirk.

"Then I shall," Kuno declared, aiming his blade at the heavens, and causing a thunder clap before removing a paper from his top. As he spoke the next few words, he began taking up poses that he felt were apt for them. "Rin, Pyou, Tou, Sha, Kai, Jin, Retsu, Zai, Zen! Akuryo Taisan!"

"Wha..." Saotome asked, obviously trying to hold himself there, as he was trembling in terror, and having difficulty breathing. Still, he managed to dodge mostly out of the way of the spirit ward that was sent hurtling at his face, it managing to catch him in the right shoulder.

The effects were immediate, as the divine energy lashed across the sorcerer's body causing him to convulse in pain. Within moments, he began to shift, and was about to reveal his true form, when a fist streaked in from out of nowhere, knocking the True Blunder out cold.

"Ranma?" Akane asked, slowly, walking towards the other martial artist, who was clearly in pain, and ignoring Kuno where he fell. "Are you all right?" She knew it was a pretty stupid question, but had no idea what to do. She reached out to try and pull the ward off of his shoulder, but a shock of electricity ran through her hand, and she jerked it back in surprise. "Maybe I should go get elder Cologne," she mumbled, and was about to try and yank the ward off again, when Ranma's body exploded in a dark, nebulous aura, and the ward was instantly incinerated.

The pigtailed martial artist seemed to clutch at the left side of his chest for a moment, before his body began to rapidly shift, reforming the same way his mother's had the day before, into a large, white furred wolf creature, his red and black clothing rippling and shifting into what looked like thin body armor.

"Uh..." Akane said, backing away uncertainly. "Ranma?"

The large wolf creature turned to her, looking at her speculatively. "What's wrong, Tomboy?" It asked, in a voice that sounded like Ranma's, only slightly lower.

"Yup, definitely Ranma," Akane growled. "You do know you just turned into a giant wolf demon, right?"

Ranma blinked, looking down at himself and noting the change. "Was in a bit too much pain from the spirit ward ta notice," he admitted. "Thanks for gettin Kuno, by the way."

"Well, you're taking this well," The blue-black haired girl drawled, trying to be surprised but failing spectacularly.

"I'm not a girl," Ranma explained. "Besides, Mom turned into this and then turned back, so I'll just ask her when I get home."

"Of course," Akane rolled her eyes, before the bell rung. "Well, if you're taking this so well, let's go to class. No need to be late."

"Wait, ya mean I coulda gotten outta class?" Ranma whined, before he was grabbed by the arm by Akane and pulled into the school. Nearby, the students who had stayed outside to watch the fight shrugged, exchanged the various money they had had riding on the events, and followed.

HR.

Jadeite's eyebrow twitched as another piece mysteriously appeared on the board ahead of him. "Are you sure that you explained the rules correctly?" He asked, irritably, as the white bandanna wearing man across from him seemed to grin smugly. "I don't see how my side can possibly compete if the first player gets two turns for every one of the second."

"It's a strategic challenge!" Genma Saotome exclaimed. "You have to fight with fewer forces and less time to prepare, only the experts can really master playing second."

"Then why did you start me out that way?" The dark general protested, before he noticed his opponent palming another piece. Annoyed, he lifted a finger and discharged a stream of dark energy through it, causing the piece to poof into sawdust. "I believe you've been lying to me this entire game, and don't know why I agreed to play rather than doing my job."

The blond man lined the pieces up neatly on his side of the board, before standing and turning to see an image from the lowest circle of hell staring back at him. He staggered back from the massive, demonic looking face for a moment, before it opened its mouth.

"Why did you destroy one of my Shoji tiles?" It yelled, and he paused, extending his senses and seeing a large, life energy fueled, construct before him. Sighing, he raised one hand, driving it into the demon's forehead, and siphoning off the energy that had been powering it to reveal Soun Tendo, his eyes brimming with tears. "My Shoji set..." he moaned, crying softly.

Jadeite snorted, turning and stalking out the door to the side yard, before heading for the front gate. He really shouldn't have let the idiots distract him, but at least he had gotten some energy out of it. As he stepped out onto the street, a shiver ran down his spine, and he turned just as... something... landed in front of him, balanced atop a stick.

"Well, your danger sense is better than the son-in-law's, I'll give you that," the... thing... cackled.

"Who are you?" The dark general demanded, having lost most of his patience dealing with Soun and Genma.

The shriveled figure before him nodded at him. "I am elder Ku Lon of the Joketsuzoku, and I would like to ask you the same," it introduced itself.

"Dark General Jadeite of the Dark Kingdom." The man nodded back.

Cologne looked over the blond's rather crumpled military looking uniform, and nodded. "One of those outfits that wants to take over the planet?" She asked. "I have to say, your name isn't very subtle."

Jadeite's eyebrow twitched. "I don't want to take over the planet," he said, omitting the 'not yet.' "I want to recover my forces and maybe pursue some revenge on a group that killed my comrades."

"Hmm," The thing, which Jadeite tentatively identified as an old woman, mumbled. "I'll need to get some information from you, however I suppose I and mine likely won't stop you so long as you don't endanger human lives."

"You want information?" Jadeite asked, his eyebrow raising. "I will trade what I know for what you know," he offered.

The old woman grinned, the sight actually causing the seasoned general to flinch a little. "That seems acceptable," she said, and began to hop away. "We can talk at my restaurant."

HR.

"I can't believe it," Ranma snickered, as he, still looking like a wolf man, and Akane walked home from school. "How did you manage to set the desk on fire?"

The girl blushed. "I was drawing some symbols I saw this morning," she explained. "There are all these little patterns they go in. I got one to actually start glowing, so I tried a different one, and..."

"It blew up a desk," Ranma finished for her.

"I wouldn't be joking about that, big bad wolf," Akane shot back. "Or do you not remember sending Hinako-sensei screaming?"

"How was I supposed ta know she'd read Grimm's fairy tails yesterday?" the martial artist justified. "Besides, I'm not the one who caused the property damage for once, I'm enjoyin the feeling."

"Jerk," Akane muttered, crossing her arms as the two turned onto the street where the Tendo dojo was. Ranma was about to shoot back, when a ladle full of water caught him in the face.

HR.

Jadeite entered the Tendo compound, feeling vaguely like he'd just lost spectacularly, especially since the teleportation spell components he'd received matched almost exactly those that the youngest Tendo had suggested earlier, with the only difference being that these ones took a little more energy.

The worst part was that, other than the aforementioned teleport spell information, the woman either didn't know, or wasn't willing to tell, anything that was useful to him. Granted, the information she had wanted wasn't terribly valuable to him, though she seemed very pleased by it, and he had gotten basic rundowns on the most major threats in the area, but the feeling that he'd lost far more than he'd gained would not go away.

At least, he thought it was likely that there weren't any magical girls in the area, with the exception, as Cologne had so eloquently put it, of Ranma, and her great granddaughter, who apparently turned into a cat.

"Oh, hello Jadeite-san, how was your day?" Kasumi Tendo asked, from the kitchen, and looking noticeably startled.

Jadeite just nodded and smiled at her noncommittally, and was heading through the living room on the way to the Dojo when he heard two voices call out "We're home!"

One was Akane Tendo's, and she sounded rather amused, while the other was Ranma's female form's, and she definitely did not. Turning as he was about to exit into the side yard, the dark general blinked at what he saw.

Akane was relatively normal, save the fact that one of her uniform's sleeves was a little scorched, and she had a bandage on her arm. Ranma, on the other hand, looked rather unusual, having apparently acquired a set of canine ears on top of her head. Her hair had also grown down to the base of her back and turned a few shades lighter, almost pink. To top off the strange changes, her finger nails, on the one hand that wasn't clenched into a fist, were rather long.

Everyone went silent for a moment, only one exclamation of "Oh, my," coming from Kasumi, before Nodoka exploded up from her seat at the dining table and flung herself at her child, crying as though she were Soun. "Oh no, my baby!" she exclaimed. "This is why I always wanted you to be manly! I don't want the Senshi to throw an evil Glowing Frisbee of Death at you!"

Ranma blinked several times, before looking over at Akane, who just shrugged back at her, helplessly. "Um, Mom, it's okay?" She said, hugging the woman back and patting her gently.

END.

Note: A lot of our fics work under the concept that Nerima, and its residents including Ranma and his friends, aren't nearly as prone to taking everything as it comes as they actually are in the Manga. If you're wondering why this fic's still mostly light in spite of Ranma mutating into a wolf creature, just watch/read the series. These people barely batted an eye at Mousse taking a giant Tanuki statue on a date.

The more laid back Nerima's easier for this fic to take place in, and things will eventually get a bit more dramatic, maybe... possibly... okay, we're lying.


	4. Chapter 2: Charity

We know the chapter's a little filler-ish, but we found it fun and hope you do as well.

Chapter 2: Charity.

Ranma Saotome usually enjoyed meditation. It was usually one of the few times in his life when he could completely relax, without having to worry that a giant flying tentacle backed cow monster was going to fall out of the sky on top of him. Actually, he still did have to worry about that, but it didn't seem nearly as important when he was running his way through a slow Tai Chi kata in the Dojo, listening to the birds singing outside.

Of course, today he wasn't dealing with that sort of meditation. For starters, he was currently a rather large, lupine creature, but that wasn't the real issue. "Mom, could you stop staring at me like that?" he grumbled, his eyes opening to see his mother, in her own Youma form, looking intently at him.

She sighed. "Ranma, dear, I don't see why you're finding this so difficult. It's one of the more basic forms of illusion magic."

"Well, it isn't really an illusion for me, is it?" He retorted, trying not to snap, but the two had been at this since four thirty in the morning, as he didn't feel the need to sleep nearly as long as usual, and the sun had just risen.

The slightly smaller wolf creature sighed. "I suppose it's not," she admitted. "But at this rate, you definitely won't be able to go back to school today.

"Why not?" Ranma asked, though he wasn't precisely eager for the prospect. "It's Furinkan. If a cyborg with a fish for a head walked in they'd ask it if it was it's first day and if it needed any help."

"It certainly isn't that bad," Nodoka tried to object, but seeing the steady look from her son, she reconsidered. "Regardless of what your classmates think, if the Senshi find you they will destroy you, I've seen it happen far too many times."

Ranma wanted to reply with his usual flippant assurance of victory, though he was stopped by the serious expression on his mother's face, and the recollection of her initial reaction to his transformation the night before. "Look, Mom," he started, trying to think of a way to reassure her, when he heard the blessed call of "Breakfast!" drift across from the house, and shot to his feet. "Let's talk about this later, okay?"

Nodoka sighed, sure that her son wasn't taking this at all seriously, as she saw him receding into the house.

HR.

"So, Saotome, still look like a reject from Twilight, huh?" Nabiki drawled, as she sipped on her usual cup of morning coffee.

"I didn't think you still read that series after you threw New Moon across the room," Ranma shot back, causing the mercenary Tendo to shut up with an embarrassed expression.

"What Nabiki meant to say," Akane butted in, "Is it's strange you haven't figured out how to change back yet."

"It'll take a while," Ranma grumbled. "There's this weird stuff I can't really figure out seeping into my aura and it's screwing me up every time I try to meditate on it. 'Till then, Mom thinks I should be out of school."

"That bad, huh?" The youngest Tendo asked, somewhat nervously.

"I dunno, I think she's bein paranoid, but I'm not gunna pass up an excuse to miss school," Ranma smirked back, causing the girl to roll her eyes.

"Well," Kasumi cut in, "if you're staying home, could you help me with something Ranma-kun?" The martial artist in question was about to ask what it was, as his mother's concerns about him going out were at least somewhat valid, when he caught the eldest Tendo's serene, nothing could go wrong expression and nodded.

"Sure, why not? What do ya need help with?"

HR.

"I don't think this is a good idea," Ranma stated as she helped Kasumi unfurl a banner to hang over their little stall. Her ears perked up as yet another passerby made comments about her appearance, and then twitched violently as someone mentioned her pretty pink hair.

"Don't be silly, Ranma-kun," Kasumi said. "I'm sure this will work out just fine." Securing the last tie, she stepped back to observe her handiwork.

Above the stand, which was nothing more than a folding table Ranma had acquired from the school, hung a banner proudly declaring, 'Help Save the Youma. Buy a Charm.' After nodding in approval of her artistry, Kasumi opened the first of several cardboard boxes and spread a number of small charms across the table. Now all she and Ranma would need to do was wait for concerned citizens to buy a trinket or two.

"Ya know you're just askin for the Senshi ta show up, right?" Ranma asked, plopping down into a chair behind the table.

"I'm sure they'll be perfectly reasonable if they do," the Tendo daughter said serenely, almost making the pink haired girl believe her. A moment later she smiled brightly as a young girl of around eight years old ran up to the booth, dragging her mother behind her.

"Ooh!" the child gushed, looking up at Ranma. "Your ears are so pretty! Where can I get ears like that?"

"Noriko!" the mother reprimanded, "What have I told you about being polite?" Turning to Ranma and Kasumi, she added, "I apologize for my daughter's behavior. She can't seem to go past anything she thinks is pretty without running up to it." With a shudder she added, "Just last night she chased after Ms. Kuno because she liked her rose petal trick. I can only hope nothing comes of that."

Ranma winced in sympathy. No parent should have to worry about their child being influenced by any of the Kunos. Looking down at little Noriko, she grinned a little and ruffled the child's hair, taking care to keep her claws safely away from the girl's skin. "Sorry, squirt, but I can't really help you get the ears." Ranma paused for a moment in thought before finishing, "Well, I probably could manage it, but I doubt your mom'd let you."

While the Demi-Youma was keeping Noriko occupied, Kasumi was speaking to the mother. "Yes," she began, "we are trying to save the Youma. They are a repressed group of people who are in dire need of assistance."

The woman frowned, looking over the trinkets. "This isn't like that time your sister tried to raise money for the Hawaiians, is it?" She asked, and then shook her head. "Though I doubt that you would do that."

Kasumi didn't seem to take offense, or even react to the fact that Nabiki had been running a false charity operation. "No, actually. We're going to be selling these charms for one hundred yen, how much it costs to make one, if you'll just wear it."

"And how does that help?" The now rather curious woman asked, as she glanced to the side to note her daughter being carried around by Ranma, who looked somewhere in a state half way between amused and embarrassed.

"Well," Kasumi said, "the Youma are a race who drain human life force to keep themselves alive. Each charm has a spell on it that allows a small amount of your life energy, mostly excess that you would lose through your natural aura, to be taken by them."

The woman blinked, staring at the normally rather vapid sounding eldest Tendo, whom she'd bought vegetables, or picked flower arrangements beside many times. "Um," she said, confused.

"Ranma-kun?" Kasumi called, causing the Demi-Youma to look over from where she was showing little Noriko one of the charms that looked vaguely like a rose. "Could you show her some Chi, please?"

The pigtailed girl nodded, closing her eyes for a moment and bringing her aura into the visible spectrum. Much to her annoyance, the usual bright blue was now shot through with tiny bolts of black lightning, but the effect was mostly the same as it had ever been.

"Ooh, pretty," Noriko breathed. "Can you teach me to do that?"

"Oh, that!" Noriko's mother said, nodding as though everything made sense now. "Will taking it hurt us?"

"It may make you eat a little more than usual, to make up the energy that you've lost," Kasumi offered.

The woman considered for a moment, retrieving two hundred yen and handing it to the eldest Tendo daughter, before accepting a charm in return. Ranma looked at Kasumi incredulously for a moment, before handing the rose-like one that Noriko had been admiring to her, and the two customers walked off.

"Mommy?" Noriko asked, as they turned the corner onto another street. "Do you think I could do that when I grow up?"

"We'll see, honey," the older woman said nervously, rather hoping that her daughter could become an office lady or something, rather than one of Nerima's prime exports, the super-powered martial artists.

HR.

"I can't believe this," Jadeite muttered, as he sat in a darkened space, holding a swirling ball of light with an image within it. "She just... asked." He considered hurling the ball of power away, but his common sense kept him from doing so, just barely, as he noted another customer approaching the booth, and talking to its two occupants. Several seconds later, he felt a third tiny trickle of energy joining the two that already fueled the ball in his hand.

"She just..." The dark general wasn't entirely sure how he was supposed to feel about this situation. On one level, he was gaining all of the energy he would need to restart the Dark Kingdom, for whatever use he wanted to use it, but on the other, the method that was being used was... humiliating.

He wondered, just for a moment, if such a polite and straight forward method would have worked in Juuban so long ago, but then realized that the answer was irrelevant, as Queen Beryl would likely have tried to blast him for even suggesting it. As he felt another slight increase in the stream of energy he was receiving, the dark general was about to look back down into the ball to see who had taken the next charm, when a sudden shaft of light burst in upon his sanctuary.

He resisted crying out in surprise, looking up to note a silhouette that looked vaguely female staring in at him. "Why's it so dark in here?" Akane's voice echoed around, as the general's vision cleared and he was able to make her out more clearly.

"It's... unimportant," the general quickly stated, absorbing the life energy ball into his body before she could comment on it. "What is it?"

"Mrs. Saotome's got lunch ready," the youngest Tendo replied. "I helped and it tastes pretty good this time!"

"I'll be there in a moment," Jadeite replied, and the blue-black haired girl turned, walking out of the Dojo's entrance and towards the house. His dramatic musings ruined, the Dark General stood to follow her moments later.

HR.

"Dead Scream." Ranma woke from a light doze, not at all similar to a cat nap at all or in any way, as she heard a whisper that seemed to echo unnaturally, followed by a loud explosion. This was normally not the sort of thing she would bother moving for, but Kasumi was nearby, and her set of priorities had slightly altered to take into account that she wasn't the only one who could be blown up.

Looking up from where she'd previously been staring into her lap, she noted that Kasumi was looking shocked while standing in front of their smoldering stall. "What's goin on?" She asked, blearily, though she did leap up, landing in front of the eldest Tendo as she said it.

"How dare you trick innocent civilians into giving their energy to an evil force such as the Dark Kingdom through the innocent desire to look pretty. In the name of Pluto, I shall punish you!" A green haired woman proclaimed, striking a pose before them in what looked vaguely like a too short school girl uniform with copious bows, ribbons, and a giant set of wings behind her back.

"Um..." Ranma said, flatly, looking back to Kasumi, who was still alternating shocked looks between her destroyed stall and the newcomer. "Is this one of those Senshi?" At the moment, she really, really wanted to burst out laughing at the green haired woman's ridiculous outfit, but she'd heard stories of the Senshi, and at Kasumi's nod, she tensed. "I'll attack, you run," she ordered from the side of her mouth, and then narrowed her eyes, waiting for the Senshi to make the first move.

She wasn't waiting long, as the Senshi raised her staff, whispering the same "Dead Scream" once more and sending a roiling ball of pinkish energy speeding towards the currently demonic martial artist. Ranma considered dodging out of the way, though Kasumi was still standing behind her, so she sheathed her hands in as much Chi as she could manage and charged the ball, smashing into it.

Abruptly, there was a large explosion where the two had impacted, and the martial artist came flying out of the dust cloud produced, rolling several times before managing to catch herself with one hand, flipping to her feet. For some reason, her opponent nodded, an enigmatic smirk spreading across her dark skinned features. That was, of course, before Ranma pushed off of the ground with great force, making the leap between the two in one massive rush, and beginning to move her arms in a motion that looked almost like a blur even to the enhanced senses of the magical warrior of love and justice.

Though the attacks came so quickly that Pluto couldn't block any of them, her armor bled off most of the force, making it feel like she was being hit several dozen times per second by stones that had been tossed under-hand. This seemed to annoy Ranma, who finally jumped back, cupping her hands together and gathering power between them, seeming to pay no mind to the fact that the lightning bolts that had previously suffused her aura were collecting in the Chi ball that was forming there. "Did ya have ta blow up that thing and almost blast Kasumi?" She growled, her words seeming to fuel the energy. "Now I've gotta kick yer ass! Moko Takabisha!"

Pluto brought up her staff, actually somewhat worried about the energy attack, and was shocked when a tremendous amount of raw kinetic force slammed both of her arms and the Garnet Rod into her chest, shoving her backwards several feet. By the time she'd fought her way through the onslaught, she'd been pushed half way across the street, and the concrete behind her had been torn up as though a particularly annoyed Ryoga Hibiki had been using it for practice.

Looking down at her hands in shock, Pluto shook her head, muttering something, before blurring forward, somehow seeming to move faster than all reason would suggest her capable of, and smashing Ranma first in the stomach, then the knees with her staff. The Demi-Youma huffed as her breath was knocked out of her, before she hit the ground, sliding backwards with black electricity crackling across her body.

From where she'd run, used to getting out of the way of Ranma and his friends' little games, Kasumi gasped, realizing that this one didn't seem to be going Ranma's way. As she saw the Senshi winding up to perform her strange pink spell again, she dashed out into the middle of the battlefield, crouching down next to Ranma. "Are you all right, Ranma-kun?" She asked, nervously looking between the other and the Senshi, who had held off on her attack for some reason.

"Oh, Kasumi... fancy meeting you here," Ranma burbled semi-deliriously, having apparently hit her head on something when she landed. "Hey, didn't I say for you to run?"

"Oh Ranma," Kasumi sighed, exasperated, before she stood and started walking towards the Senshi of time. "I think Ranma's finished playing," she said, seriously.

"Excuse me?" Pluto asked, lowering her staff from the attack charging position she'd been holding it in for the past few moments and staring at the civilian, a look of confusion clearly visible on her face.

"I don't know why you blew up all of our charms and then fought Ranma so brutally, but I think you've proven your point, and I would appreciate it if you left." The eldest Tendo was about as close to telling the magical girl to go jump off a cliff as anyone had ever heard her, and as Pluto looked around, she noticed several civilians glaring at her.

Looking over to the Youma she'd been fighting, one eyebrow rose as she noted that the girl's hair had turned red, and her strange ears were gone. Though she couldn't see her eyes or hands, she was sure that they were normal as well. The eldest Senshi didn't say anything, merely nodding before raising her staff and disappearing with a gust of air.

As she reappeared in the murky, shadow-veiled space of the time gates, a small smile appeared on her face. "You know, I've always wanted to make one of those speeches."

HR.

"What happened to you?" Akane asked, as she sat on the couch, a math book spread out on the cushion next to her. She was saying this in response to Ranma, who had just entered from the yard, looking vaguely like he'd been tossed into Mr. Green Turtle's pond and hadn't gotten out for a few minutes.

"I'd rather not talk about it," he muttered sourly, tromping into the house and slumping down on the couch next to her, only avoiding sitting on her math book as she moved it hurriedly out of his way.

"Ryoga?" She asked, thinking that he was the only one who was likely to cause this much damage.

"A Sailor Senshi," Ranma groaned back. "Now can we not talk about..." he was interrupted as he heard a loud bang, and his mother's startled cry of "What?" Turning, he saw that she had been on her way into the living room with a platter of cookies for the studying Akane when she'd heard Ranma's comment, and a pandafied Genma was currently scooping the remnants of the food from the ground at her feet.

"Pop, you're disgusting," Ranma grumbled, in order to try and divert his mother's attention from him.

This apparently didn't work, as his father simply held up a sign that said 'Five second rule, boy,' as Nodoka ran over to study her son's injuries.

"You've changed back to human form," she noted, realizing that he was male and not currently looking like a wolf demon.

"Yeah, it happened after the fight," Ranma explained, trying to avoid hissing in pain as the older woman poked at his bruised side experimentally. "She hit me unexpectedly, an' I woke up back to normal... well, I was a girl, but ya get the idea."

"So, the mighty Ranma Saotome lost a fight?" Akane asked, concerned, but trying not to show it. "Why aren't you already planning for the rematch?"

"What makes ya think I'm not, Tomboy?" Ranma replied instantly, though a frown came over his face soon after. "You weren't kidding though, Mom. These Senshi are stupidly strong. It was like punching tank armor, only it didn't break after twenty or so hits."

Nodoka was about to make a comment about the tank armor thing, until she saw Akane nodding as though the comparison made sense, and decided not to say anything. "So, which Senshi was it?" Jadeite's voice came from the base of the staircase.

"A green haired one who called herself Pluto," Ranma replied. "She had this long staff."

Jadeite slapped his forehead. "There's a PLUTO now?" He growled. "How many of them are there?"

"Well, probably nine," Akane offered. "One for each planet."

"Ain't there at least one for a moon, too?" Ranma asked, confused. "Mom mentioned some moon Frisbee thing."

"More than... nine of them," the dark general mumbled, walking over to the dining table and slumping down on one of the cushions surrounding it. At the moment, he really, really wanted to start cursing a blue streak, but that was both not proper for a disciplined general of the Dark Kingdom and counter-productive, so he decided to say something more relevant. "Kasumi, Ranma, in spite of the Senshi's interference, you did good work this afternoon. We're still gathering energy from your operation."

"Thanks, I think, Ranma said, wincing as his mother seemed to be fussing over every scratch on his body, and she'd just asked Akane to go get the first aid supplies.

"It was easy," Kasumi agreed. "Once I explained why we needed the energy, a lot of people agreed."

Jadeite coughed. "Right... thank you, Kasumi. I was wondering if you could attempt the same operation tomorrow, to..." he was cut off, as Nodoka seemed to teleport across the room, appearing before him in full Youma form.

"My son is not going out there to be attacked by the Senshi again!" She growled, and the blond found himself drawing back.

"Um, of course not. Ranma will need to recover regardless, and you will have to continue his training on humanoid disguises. After all, he could revert to his Youma form at any time, once he recovers the energy he lost in battle," Jadeite said quickly, sighing in relief as his supposed underling backed off, shifting to human form and sitting across from him at the table, looking as though nothing had happened.

From where he was sitting, waiting for Genma to stop imitating a vacuum cleaner and get back to the game of Shogi they had been playing, Soun Tendo vaguely felt that he was being ripped off, but decided that he couldn't be bothered to comment on it.

END.

Hmm, more questions than answers. Didn't know we were writing an episode of the X-Files... erm, other than the whole 'not knowing where we're going' thing. We know where we're going... really!


	5. Chapter 3: The Sufficiently Lit Kingdom

Disclaimer: No Pandas were hurt in the making of this episode. The same can not be said of Llamas.

Chapter 3: The Sufficiently Lit Kingdom.

Jadeite had always been one for concocting cunning, subtle plans that would, or at least should, fly under the radar of any group who were trying to stop him. Hell, he'd been doing it even before Beryl's forces had managed to break out of the dimensional pocket in which the Dark Kingdom was sealed, managing to subtly insinuate his way into being named the advanced force leader for the invasion.

Come to think of it, that just may have been why Zoicite and Konzite had been so homicidally angry at him, but he doubted it.

Of course, this meant that Kasumi's last 'energy gathering operation' went completely contrary to his usual style, and may have already drawn him out into the open with regards to the Senshi. Still, he couldn't argue with the results, as the giant energy reservoir that was even now being held in the dojo, within what looked like a soup can etched with a field of wards that he'd actually asked the youngest Tendo girl to draw up with the vague instructions, "make it store energy," was still growing and would, by itself, contain enough energy to refill the emergency life support reserves and awaken a few Youma within a month.

The fact remained, however that there were probably at least ten Sailor Senshi around somewhere, and the gods help him if they'd tried to deputize more moons. At the moment subtlety was probably more important than it had ever been. This was why he was currently sitting in the guest room usually shared by Ranma and Genma, drawing up plans for energy draining schemes which would most likely have to involve the humans... not that Nodoka's little outburst about Ranma really intimidated him, of course, but the child had the potential to become the strongest weapon in his arsenal, and he didn't want to waste it... plus, that katana looked sharp.

As he was putting the final touches on one of his plans, the dark general heard the door to the room slide open, and footsteps crossing the floor to stand behind him. He thought it was Ranma, waiting for his bed to be cleared off, until he heard someone clucking their tongue disapprovingly.

"Honestly, a restaurant?" Nabiki Tendo's ridiculing voice cut through the dark general's thoughts, and the man turned to see her giving him a disbelieving look.

"What's wrong with a restaurant?" he asked, contemplating blasting the girl just for the condescending look on her face, but then realizing that he really didn't want to find a new base of operations.

"Let's see, some people won't eat meals filling enough to make them feel lethargic, some will come in looking for, say, coffee to keep them going, and leaving even more tired would be a pretty big give away for anyone who is looking for energy draining operations, wouldn't it?"

"Miss Tendo, I have been doing this for..." Jadeite started, only to be interrupted.

"About six months," Nabiki said with her usual smirk. "I checked you out in the old newspapers. Honestly, a giant, floating, fiery head?"

"I was pressed for time," the general admitted, grimacing as he remembered all of his queen's shrill demands to 'Kill the Sailor brats.' Now that he thought about it, she had a very limited repertoire of insults. Refocusing himself on the here and now, he asked, "Why are you interested in what I'm doing?"

"Simple," Nabiki said, crouching down on the ground next to him and beginning to look through the papers he'd been writing his ideas on. "You almost got one of my biggest cash cows killed yesterday."

"I noticed you didn't say anything about your sister," the dark general said, being rather sure about who the cash cow was.

Nabiki shrugged somewhat indifferently. "If Kasumi had been anywhere near in danger, that Senshi would have had some real big problems and most of the district would probably be blown up," she said off-hand. "And that's before Ranma got back up. The point is, maybe my little sister likes the idiot, and maybe he makes me a few thousand yen.. and maybe I owe him and Akane a couple, but if you ever say it I'll make sure you're broke and about as broken as a bunch of angry Neriman martial artists can make anything."

"I... see," Jadeite said, and then shrugged. He really didn't see what he would lose by letting the middle Tendo look over his plans, as given Ranma's status, she wasn't likely to inform the Senshi of anything, though his thoughts on the subject began to change and his eyebrow twitch, when she started snickering, and then laughing outright, at his ice cream truck plan.

HR.

She was almost done. In fact, she was so close to success that she could almost taste it, even though what she was doing sort of felt like shoving several pork roasts into her backpack and trying to get it closed without tearing anything. As something deep within her seemed to click, Ranma Saotome's eyes flew open, and she pulled her pigtail in front of her face, noting that it was its usual bright red colour, rather than the pale pink of her cursed Youma form.

"I think I got it," she panted, flopping backwards on the grass in the Tendo backyard, while her mother watched on from atop one of the rocks surrounding the koi pond.

Nodoka frowned worriedly at her offspring. It had taken Ranma a full two minutes to transform from Youma form to human, and that was in female form, where the changes were less intense. It meant that her son could go out in public, and more importantly attend school again with no difficulty, but he certainly wasn't going to be able to use the transformation to avoid the Sailor Senshi or other enemies. "I'll go and get the hot water, so that you can practice in your male form," she decided, standing and heading for the house.

Ranma just nodded, staring up at the sky for a few minutes. The last day's training had been stupidly difficult, though more because she hadn't been able to move around very much during the meditation on mastering her newest transformation than in any physical way, and she was actually welcoming the break. As her stomach grumbled, she sat up, preparing to head in to the house after her mother and get something to eat. That, of course, was when she heard IT.

IT wasn't really deserving of the capitalization, unless of course you were female, in which case the cackling yell of "Sweeto!" that came echoing over the rooftops would send a cold chill down your spine.

Frowning, Ranma recalled that Kasumi, Nabiki, Akane and her mother were currently inside of the Tendo residence, leapt up to the second story roof and shaded her eyes to find the little demon. When she saw him, leaping off of the roof of the neighbors next-door, she kicked a shingle loose and sent it hurtling at his head.

"Ranma-chan," Happosai grumbled, as he sprung off of the flying roofing material and landed near the edge of the dojo's roof, "That wasn't a very nice way to greet your grand master after a long absence, was it?"

"After what ya did to me before you left?" the pigtailed martial artist's eyes narrowed. "Or did you forget why you ran?"

"Now Ranma, my boy, be reasonable, it was just a little prank," the little old man said, smiling widely, though his expression faltered as he saw the other martial artist's even, cold look. He had no doubt that Ranma didn't have enough power to really endanger him, but putting his 'student' down hard enough to keep him down was a rather dicey proposition, and he didn't want to do too much damage to her lovely body. "How about I just take a cry in your bosom and we let this go, huh?" he asked, actually believing that this would help his case.

Strangely, for a few seconds after he threw himself at the busty redhead, too quickly for her to deflect, it seemed as though he was right. Ranma's arms fell to her side, and her eyes rolled up into her head as though she were going to faint. The old man was finally beginning to hope that his heir had started to see things his way when he realized something was very, very wrong. For one, he wasn't getting any energy from direct contact with a woman's chest, and for another, he was starting to feel drowsy.

As his hands released their grip and he fell to the roof top, the Grand Master of Anything Goes martial arts saw a deep, roiling red aura around the pigtailed girl's body, and he realized what had happened. "How in the he..." he muttered, just as he passed out.

HR.

Nodoka exited the Tendo home into the back yard, humming happily and holding a kettle of hot water. She was glad that Ranma had accomplished his latest training, as sitting and watching him try and restrain nervous twitches while meditating was starting to make her develop some. "Ranma-kun, I've got your warm water!" she called, as she saw that the pigtailed girl had apparently vacated her meditation spot near the pond.

When she got no response, for a moment she thought that perhaps Ranma had snapped and gone for a run around the block or something. That thought was pushed to the back of her head, however, when she heard a very... passionate scream, and someone hitting the ground behind her. Turning, she saw Ranma, in Youma form, glowing brightly and with her eyes focused several hundred miles past her.

"Ranma-kun?" she asked, reaching out for the redhead, and pulling back when her hand met the edge of the other's battle aura, and a shiver went down her spine. She made a mental note that she would have to go and find Genma at some point soon, before continuing in a louder voice, "Ranma-kun!"

This seemed to get the glowing Youma's attention, and her eyes met Nodoka's with a quite clear need burning within them. She stared for several moments, unblinking, before charging past her mother and slamming her head into, and through, the compound wall, leaving a hole large enough for the rest of her to pass through.

"Oh dear," Nodoka declared, as what she'd felt when she'd touched Ranma's aura finally clicked. "Oh dear." Without another word, she ran into the house calling for Akane.

HR.

Ukyo Kuonji was irritated. She spent the majority of her time irritated, recently, as Ranma seemed to be actively avoiding her, even if he denied it, since the failed wedding. Hell, Shampoo saw him more than she did, as he occasionally went to the Neko-Hanten to ask advice of Cologne, and they were classmates, for goodness sake!

Over the last few days, she'd been considering swallowing her pride, apologizing for her part in the fiasco and asking him exactly what was going on. She'd heard rumors about Kuno and a werewolf being at school on her day off, and for the past two days Ranma had just not been there, though Akane had been, setting desks on fire and causing light shows, so she knew the two of them hadn't run off and gotten married.

Walking out to the front of the store with the open sign in one hand, she noticed Konatsu hanging the placards in the windows for the day's specials and nodded at him, just as she started to hear a high pitched sound that she couldn't quite place.

When she'd placed the sign on the door, the sound abruptly resolved into a girl's almost ridiculously prolonged scream, and a red and pink blur shot past her down the street. "What... was that?" she asked, trying to track it, but it had already left easy eyesight.

"I believe it was Ranma-san," Konatsu responded. "She looked rather flustered."

"I see," Ukyo said, suddenly shaking her head as it seemed as though the temperature had increased slightly. "Should we go after her?"

"It will probably work itself out without us," Konatsu said, securing the "No Ramen!" sign on the window right next to the door.

"You're probably right," Ukyo agreed, nodding. "You know what? We've made enough recently to take a break, let's go rent a movie, or something."

"Mmhmm," Konatsu said, nodding, as his mistress took the open sign off of the door and threw it across the restaurant to land on a table.

HR.

Cologne was pondering. She liked to ponder, and it was in fact one of her favorite activities, next to scheming and making a general nuisance of herself. She'd gained quite a deal of information on the one formerly known as Son-in-Law, and made a mental note to call him that, just to see if it irritated him any more.

Despite the loss of any official marriage claims, given that the village's official stance on demons that weren't 'banish on sight' was to keep the heck away from them, she was confident that the boy had another few years of entertainment left in him, and could possibly be an asset to the tribe, if the evil overlord in training ever got anywhere with his ambitions.

She took a moment away from her pondering as she heard a crash from the main floor, and looked out to see Mousse slumped against the front window, his glasses actually hanging from one ear. Fortunately, the customers weren't paying him any heed, but she would really have to speak to Shampoo about that, as she'd been hitting the myopic duck for far less reason ever since the elder had declared the kiss of marriage annulled.

As she was po-going out into the main room, Cologne noticed a bright red blur pass the windows, and blinked as a wave of rather familiar chi washed over the restaurant. As she looked over at a table where some lovesick teenagers had been making eyes at each other and saw them necking, her eyebrow rose. She pondered ordering Shampoo to chase after her former Airen, but given the power of that lust aura, it was probably a bad idea. Hopping back into the supply room, she grabbed several heavy duty warding amulets and hopped out a window. This, she had to see.

HR.

Jadeite cursed to himself as he entered the dojo, and saw what he assumed was his energy filled tin can bouncing around the room like a particularly hyper jumping bean. Nodoka hadn't told him much, in fact she hadn't told him anything when she'd charged past the guest room, yelling for Akane, and had taken off before he could question her, but he really didn't need to be told.

Something had dumped a ludicrously large amount of energy into Ranma. This would normally have him jumping for joy, as he'd activated a tap, present in the fabric of the very souls of all of the Youma he'd commanded, to siphon a small amount of the boy's net energy gain into his collection system, and it would bring the re-awakening of the Dark Kingdom closer. The problem was that this tap was currently dumping about five times as much energy as an average person could possibly give into his collection system every second, and it was rapidly overflowing.

As the can bounced past his head, almost taking it off, the dark general considered letting the power go, but not only was that distasteful, he wasn't sure he could do it without blowing the roof off of the Tendo compound. All he knew was that he was very glad the stuff had been purified from whatever had lead the young Youma to run off and bash a hole through the wall with her own head, as it must have originally been something positively horrific.

He nodded decisively as the soup can came around for another pass, weaving a quick spell around it to hold it and walking towards a tatami mat in the corner of the room. He hadn't actually tested the teleportation runes yet, but both the elder Ku-Lon and Akane had given him the same pattern, so he hoped it would work. Stepping into the center of the circle, he invoked the runes, vanishing in a flash of white light.

HR.

Cologne whistled. It seemed that whatever had managed to start this situation, Ranma, in his usual fashion, had managed to make it ten times worse. Actually, she was pretty sure she knew what had started the whole mess, and would be going to look for Happosai to see if he was alive later, but she was pretty sure he hadn't gathered as much lust and love chi in his entire life as was floating around the small public park where Ranma was currently laying, passed out on a bench and sleeping the sleep of the innocent.

All around her, much less innocent things were happening. Cologne wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing that the park was a common place for lovers to meet, given the results of the blast that had finally occurred when Ranma had totally lost control. For future note, she had discovered that Ranma's cursed form, at least, was a screamer. Looking down at the charred and blackened amulets she wore around her neck, she decided that she should probably leave the region quickly, and scooped the martial artist up before leaping to a tree branch and out of the area.

Several minutes later, four rather scantily clad women landed on the same branch Cologne had vacated, along with a man in a tuxedo and white mask. "Are you sure this was the site of a Youma attack?" one of the women, a blonde with a long ponytail on either side of her head asked, looking around and blushing slightly.

"Looks to me like everyone just decided to get it off," another blonde with long loose hair said, producing strange looks from a blue haired woman with a visor over her eyes.

"I definitely detected something that used dark magic here a short time ago," she announced. "A constant trace from somewhere east of here, and then one massive spike."

"Do you think this has something to do with that sighting of Jadeite a few days ago?" the twin-ponytailed blonde asked, concerned.

"I'm not sure," the blue haired woman admitted. "We might want to keep a lookout on this area, though."

A brown haired woman who had been keeping quiet and leaning directly against the tree trunk sighed. "I guess I'm moving again, huh?" she asked, irritably.

"Sorry, Mako-chan," the ponytailed blonde said, apologetically.

"No problem, we've got to watch out for this stuff, after all," the brunette replied. "Besides, I've heard some legends about Neriman restaurants."

"Right," the blue haired woman said. "Since there doesn't seem to be a threat, I'll take some scans, while you guys head back."

"Right," the others agreed, leaping off.

HR.

"Sixty-five bottles of beer on the wall, sixty-five bottles of beer!" Genma Saotome bellowed, as he and his best friend staggered down the street, not really caring that they were being looked at like idiots for screaming the lyrics to an English children's song.

Neither had really been sure how this binge had begun, but it had had something to do with cats, possibly, or dogs. As they turned the corner onto the dojo's block, Soun suddenly stopped, turning and blinking at a segment of wall with a rather large hole in it. "That... isn't good, is it?" he asked, rather gravely.

Genma studied the hole, bending forward and peering at it from several angles before nodding. "Definitely isn't," he said, just as his wife appeared on the other side, looking rather frazzled. "Definitely isn't."

"Genma!" Nodoka said, and the balding martial artist snapped to as much attention as he could manage when they'd moved this section of sidewalk onto an old sailing ship.

"Yes, No-chan?" he asked, somewhat worriedly.

"You're coming with me," Nodoka said, grabbing the overweight martial artist as she clambered through the hole in the wall, and beginning to drag him down the street in the direction of their not-quite refurbished home.

"Where'd he go?" Soun asked, confused, as he looked between his old friend's receding form and the hole again. "An... an... who broke my dojo?"

HR.

As Jadeite materialized in the main teleportation hub of Queen Beryl's palace, he was already running, the can full of life force under his arm trying to buck free. Fortunately, either by design or accident, the hub's main entrance was right next to the main courtyard, and he burst out onto the obsidian ground, hauling back and tossing the can into the air as quickly as he could, following it with a blast of crackling electricity.

As he'd expected, the two collided about fifteen feet up, bursting into a roiling ball of power, streamers of which raced off in all directions as half starved Youma drew on the suddenly available nourishment.

Collapsing to the hard stone, he looked up at the ball as it incredibly slowly started to shrink, and was very, very grateful that he hadn't let it off at the Tendo compound. He was distracted from that thought, however, when the crystals that hadn't actually been used to light the palace ever since the queen had gotten it through her head that they had an energy shortage burst to life, illuminating the courtyard as though it were high noon.

Standing, straightening his uniform jacket and brushing it off, the blond general looked up into the glimmering windows and grinned. "Now all I've got to do is figure out how to do it without almost blowing myself to hell," he muttered, though even that sentiment couldn't really dampen his good mood. It had been done, the Dark Kingdom was now fully powered, and he could start the next stage of his plan... if he could think of it. That Nabiki girl had had some good insights, even if she had been annoying. He smiled. As the king, he would need his dark generals, after all.

END.


	6. Chapter 4: Afterglow

Chapter 4: Afterglow.

"Where the hell is that idiot?" Akane grumbled to herself, as she ran down a side street, having managed to pick up a slight sense that Ranma had passed this way recently. She wasn't nearly as good at detecting Chi as most of the other martial artists in the district, but the pigtailed boy had been letting off a lot of power as he ran, and she'd lived with him for over two years.

She sort of wished that Mrs. Saotome had given her more information when she'd told her to chase after the jerk, but all she'd said was that he probably needed her, which could mean anything from a random challenge to the return of Saffron, with Herb and a killer rabbit as assistants.

She had just reached the end of the side street, and ducked past a couple who were kissing against a storefront, when she came to a screeching halt. Right in front of her was the arching main entrance to one of the district's parks, a place that Ranma liked to go occasionally when he needed to think. This time, however, she saw something far different from the martial artist perched in the top of a tree. "What in the world...?" she asked, stepping towards a lump that sort of looked like two people wrapped up in each other's limbs. As she realized what they were doing, she blushed and backed off.

"Shouldn't you do that somewhere private?" the youngest Tendo asked, indignantly, her aura flaring up in irritation.

"Excuse me, miss?" a voice came from behind Akane, and she spun, falling into a defensive stance. She hadn't felt the voice's owner come up behind her, almost as though it were Dr. Tofu, but it was definitely a female. When she caught sight of its source, her stance almost faltered.

"Um, hello?" she returned, rather dubiously, her eyes tracking up and down the form of a woman who was wearing a leotard with several frills, along with a blue skirt and a very noticeable set of wings. She was caught half way between asking if she knew Azusa Shiratori or Saffron.

"You should probably clear the area," the woman said, sizing Akane up herself, as several letters and numbers flickered across a blue visor she had over her eyes. "This area is dangerous."

"You mean the heavy concentration of weird Chi?" Akane asked, looking around. The stuff was blanketing the area, and though she couldn't really tell what emotion it was generated from, it was doing a very nice job of obscuring Ranma's trail. "I know about it, I'll be fine."

"Chi..." the older woman muttered, tapping something in on a small palmtop computer she apparently pulled out of hidden weapons space. "Oh, that's..." She blinked at Akane in confusion. "You can sense it?"

The martial artist shrugged. "Yeah, most fighters around here can. Um, if you've been around here for a while, have you seen a person with their hair in a pigtail, wearing a red silk shirt and a pair of black pants?"

The winged and mini-skirted woman shook her head. "No, I haven't," she responded, causing Akane to frown irritably.

"Okay, then. Thanks!" the Tendo said, running off through the park. Sailor Mercury raised a hand and called after her, but it was too late, as Akane had already left earshot.

"That was strange," the blue haired woman mumbled, looking down at the screen on her computer and verifying that it had a full sensor recording of the last few minutes. She'd thought that she'd volunteered to stay behind to ease the others' minds, but it seemed that she might actually get some useful information after all.

Snapping the computer closed, she leapt off into the city.

HR.

Ranma rolled over, easily ignoring the several pokes, punches and one thrown rock that had been used in trying to wake her up. Cologne scowled, suddenly realizing why Shampoo's tactic of sneaking into her Airen's bed hadn't ever worked, as it appeared the younger martial artist could sleep through the apocalypse. She imagined that the pigtailed Youma was even more relaxed than usual at the moment, given how she'd been found.

Sighing irritably, the elder hopped off of her staff, bringing it down lengthwise across the section of roof where Ranma was laying. This had some result, as the pink haired girl's arm raised to deflect the weapon, and she looked over at its user blearily. "Wha? Stupid Panda," she muttered, flexing the hand on the staff before launching it, and Cologne, off the roof.

Roundly cursing Japanese martial artists, her own stupidity and pandas, the small old woman came back within a minute, holding a kettle of water, which she threw on her former son-in-law.

"Hey, what'd ya do that for?" Ranma growled, and a growl was the right descriptor, as he bolted up to a sitting position, looking around.

"I could have used cold water, if you'd prefer," Cologne said, crossing her arms and doing her best not to give away her irritation, or the surprise that actually seeing Ranma's male Youma form invoked.

Ranma shook his head instinctively at that, looking around the rooftop in confusion. "What am I doing up here?" he asked, scratching the top of his head. "Did I go cat or something?"

"Well, there was a lot of yowling," Cologne said with a slight smirk, before she could really stop herself. "What is the last thing you remember?"

"Happosai showed up, and then..." the pigtailed Youma said, before his skin seemed to turn a pale green even through the fur on his face. "Urk."

Cologne nodded. "Urk?" she asked, perfectly reproducing Ranma's tone and inflection.

"I don't wanna think about it," he muttered quietly, and she decided to let it drop, as she had a good idea what it was.

"Now that I've seen you're all right, I'm going to go looking for Happi," the small grey haired woman said, hopping up to the top of her staff and starting to hop off.

"Wait a sec," Ranma said, stopping the Amazon elder cold. "You helped me, ya always want something in return."

"I believe you may have me confused with young Miss Tendo," Cologne shot back. "But if you're volunteering, I could use an extra waitress every once in a while."

"I just walked inta that one, huh?" Ranma asked.. Cologne only responded with an evil cackle as she hopped away.

HR.

Kasumi Tendo hummed happily to herself, checking the temperature gauge on the oven, before turning back to the vegetables she'd been cutting on the cutting board. Earlier, she'd heard a lot of commotion, something about Akane and a bouncing soup can, but it had seemed to settle down since then, and the house was now back to a peaceful state. Deciding to inform everyone that supper was ready, the eldest Tendo daughter poured the chopped vegetables into a bowl and put it onto the kitchen table before exiting the room and heading upstairs. She only found Nabiki up there, looking over some papers.

"Nabiki-chan, where are the others?" she asked, curiously, causing her younger sister to look up.

"I don't know, they probably went after Ranma," the middle Tendo responded, before holding up a paper. "Does this sign look good, do you think?"

Kasumi tilted her head quizzically. "Cookies?" she asked, trying not to show her disbelief.

"Well, I'm not going to make them, but it could work, right?" Nabiki responded. "At least, it's less likely to get someone blasted by a Senshi."

"I don't think Pluto-san and her friends would really hurt us, she just got a little carried away playing with Ranma-kun last time, that's all," Kasumi said. "But it is a very good idea for a small business."

Nabiki looked away from the knowing look her elder sister was giving her. She knew Kasumi disapproved of her betting pools and pictures, but they made good money. Of course, who knew? Cookies might just be a better investment. She resisted the urge to snicker at that idea until her elder sister had left the doorway and headed downstairs.

HR.

Jadeite paced the halls of the Dark Kingdom, his hands clasped behind his back and a grin on his face that he would never have let anyone else see, as it completely ruined the dark general image. Fortunately, even if many of them were fully charged, the Youma were still all asleep, which meant he was the only conscious person left in the realm.

He'd quickly gone to his old room, found that Zoicite had stolen half of his clothes, gone to Zoicite's room and gotten a clean uniform before taking an estimate of the kingdom's strength. Apparently, Beryl had lost a good eighth of the total fighting forces, and somehow several of the logistics teams as well, though he had no idea how that had happened. In addition, there was heavy damage to one side of the castle, where Sailor Moon had apparently blasted in at some point.

The worst damage seemed to be that the main portal to the outside, which had led to the Arctic Circle, had been completely sealed. This meant that he wasn't going to be able to teleport out armies of Youma, but that hadn't been any of the generals' styles, so he didn't really worry about that. Now, all he had to do was find someone to tell him what was going on.

Navigating several familiar corridors, and stepping over bodies occasionally as he did so, he walked into a small room that, like the rest of the castle, had previously been shrouded mostly in darkness. Now, with the lighting back on, he could see the dingy grey walls and uncomfortable desk that were the main features of his 'office.' In the corner, in her own chair and slumped over as though asleep with a newspaper over her nose was a Youma. Grumbling irritably, he shaped the magic to re-awaken her, and she bolted awake, the paper falling to the floor.

On the title page was the headline "Large group hallucination suffered in Juuban district of the Minato ward. Gas Leak, say authorities."

"Sleeping on the job again, hmm?" the blond asked, crossing his arms and looking down at the Youma.

The rather humanoid creature looked up at him, her red eyes widening. "J... Jadeite, sir!" she yelped, shooting out of her chair, managing to salute for about half a second before she realized that she'd forgotten to uncross her legs, hitting the floor with a thud.

The Dark General rolled his eyes. There had been a reason he'd requested this Youma as his personal secretary, and it had been to ensure that she never got anywhere near Earth or an energy draining scheme in her entire existence. "Have you kept recording what's been happening since I left on my last mission?" he asked, not holding out much hope.

"Yes, sir," the Youma said into the stone floor before pulling herself to her feet. "I've kept detailed reports on everything up until the Moon Senshi destroyed the queen."

"Wait, the moon Senshi?" Jadeite blinked, recalling the girl who had started bawling twice in her first two battles. "That's actually rather humiliating." The secretary Youma shook her head, passing him a small crystal, and he nodded, looking into it as images began to pass in front of his eyes.

HR.

"Oh my," Kasumi mumbled, as she stepped off a slightly raised obsidian platform into a large hallway. She'd only come into the dojo to see if anyone was sparring or meditating in there, but the softly glowing symbols on the mat in the corner had been too fascinating not to take a quick look at.

Now, she was standing in the middle of a rather dimly lit place that felt much more chaotic than even the Tendo home's usual aura of manic energy and martial arts. stepping out of the room she found herself in, she saw a person crumpled on the ground, sprawled out in a quite uncomfortable looking position. Quickly, she ran over, kneeling down and noting that the floors needed a good cleaning as she reached out with her hand and the rudimentary Chi sight she'd gained through study of Tofu's books.

"Oh," her eyes widened. She felt no pulse, and in fact the skin of the strangely coloured woman in front of her was cold, but she could see a tiny glimmer of life within. Rolling her onto her back, she began the chest compressions of CPR. They proved to be rather difficult, as the woman's chest appeared to be covered in scaly armor, but Kasumi didn't let that stop her after a few seconds of looking to see if she could take the armor off and finding no seams.

Eventually, her work was rewarded, as the woman beneath the eldest Tendo groaned, her eyes opening. "What's happening?" she asked, sounding somewhat out of sorts.

Kasumi sighed in relief, slumping back to her knees. "Are you all right?" she asked, worriedly.

The Youma who had just woken up to a human pushing on her chest and giving her tiny amounts of energy blinked at the brown haired girl in a state of near total confusion. "I'm fine," she eventually decided to say, wondering if her general was testing her or something, sending some random human to her. The human smiled at her.

"That's good," she said, standing. "I don't know what happened to you, but you should probably get to a doctor. I would take you to one, but I'm not very sure where I am at the moment."

The Youma blinked again. This human was definitely not behaving normally. For one, she'd been told by the few of her sisters that had come out into the human world and returned that the sight of a six foot tall, scaled and clawed monster with more teeth than the average shark would send a normal human running for the hills, but the girl was just smiling at her, calmly.

Deciding on a course of action, the Youma spoke. "This is the Dark Kingdom."

"Oh, this is where the Youma live, right?" the brunette said, nodding as though she'd made some sort of discovery. "Is Jadeite-san here?"

The Youma shrugged. Taking this human to one of the generals and asking for orders would probably be a good idea, but she was pretty certain that Jadeite was still frozen and stuck into one of the sub-basement store rooms. Stretching out her senses, she detected another human life force, this one tainted with dark energy, several corridors away. "I will take you to one of the generals," she decided, beginning to walk.

Half way down the next corridor, the human stopped, and then ran to the body of another Youma who was slumped against the wall. The combat Youma who had been leading her was about to explain that the other was just in stasis, when she was given a look that brooked no argument. "Help me straighten her out on the floor."

"Yes, Ma'am," the combat Youma found herself saying, moving to assist.

HR.

"Stupid jerk," Akane grumbled to herself, stomping through the Tendo home's front entrance and kicking her shoes off. "I'm home!" she called tiredly, having spent the past hour looking for Ranma with no success. She would have looked longer, but she knew she wasn't a very good tracker, and was going to ask Nabiki if she could get her informants to hunt the pigtailed boy down.

It therefor came as a rather large surprise to the youngest Tendo when a voice called "Welcome home," and it wasn't Kasumi's. Running into the kitchen, she saw Ranma pulling some roast pork out of the oven.

"You... where the hell were you?" she burst out, as the pigtailed boy put the pan on the stove top to cool.

"Not really sure," he responded. "I woke up with Cologne throwin hot water at me."

"Well I've been looking all over for you, and you're back here cooking supper?" Akane yelled. "You could have told me you were back!"

Ranma shrugged. "I figured you'd gone wherever Kasumi's gone," he explained. "Nabiki had no idea about either of you, and the food was about to burn, so I finished making it."

"Right, food..." Akane rolled her eyes, though as the succulent aroma of the cooked meal reached her nose, it twitched and her stomach let out a treacherous growl.

"Wonder where everyone is, though," the black haired boy said, as he started cutting the meat. "It's not like Kasumi to take off when she's in the middle of cooking."

"Maybe we should go looking for them," Akane suggested.

Ranma was about to reply, when they both heard Kasumi's call of "I'm home!"

Akane turned and left the kitchen, her eyes popping wide as she entered the entry hall. Standing there were Kasumi and a very subdued looking Jadeite, along with a short, purple skinned woman with unnaturally long finger nails and what appeared to be a six and a half foot tall fanged Ninja Turtle. "Uh," the youngest Tendo articulated, uncertainly.

"Oh, don't worry Akane, these are Veela and Tama, two Youma from the Dark Kingdom," her elder sister responded.

"Aunty Nodoka wasn't kidding about the different forms, was she?" Akane grumbled, too low for anyone to hear, though since Kasumi didn't have a problem with the two demons, she decided she should probably be polite. "I'm Akane, it's good to meet you," she said, bowing slightly.

Both Youma numbly nodded back, wondering when the yelling and screaming was going to start, as Kasumi entered the kitchen and Jadeite stomped upstairs.

HR.

"Excuse me?" Makoto Kino asked, as she leaned against the counter in her apartment's kitchen, a telephone's handset cradled between her head and left shoulder.

"Oh, I'm... sorry, Ma'am," a voice came from the other end of the line. "Your request just surprised me, that's all."

"Right," Makoto said, slowly. When she'd called up the real-estate agency, 'Are you nuts?' hadn't been the response she'd expected when she'd inquired about storefront space in the Furinkan district's shopping area. "I'll ask again, do you have a space that would be good for a restaurant in the area?"

"W... well, yes," the voice on the other end stammered. "We've got several locations, but surely you know of that part of Nerima's reputation."

For a moment, Makoto thought the rather nervous sounding man was trying to warn her about something. "You mean all of the Dojos in the area?" She asked, "That's why I want to go there, there are sure to be a lot of hungry martial artists."

"Yeah, hungry martial artists," the agent laughed. "Look, um, Ma'am, the thing about this is, the property is very cheap, and in good condition, but I'm afraid you'll need to come into the office and sign a waiver before I can let you take ownership."

"A waver?" Makoto asked, rolling her eyes. This was the same sort of thing she'd had to go through when she'd first re-entered Juuban after her years at college. Apparently, there was something in Nerima that was as weird as the constant monster attacks, or 'gas main explosions' in Juuban. "Fine, I'll be down to sign the papers and the lease tomorrow morning."

"If you're sure, Ma'am," the agent said, and the Senshi of thunder sort of wondered how this man had kept his job if he was always this nervous.

"I'm sure. I'll talk to you tomorrow, goodbye." Sighing in exasperation, the brown haired woman put the handset back onto its cradle on the wall near the fridge. Frowning, she decided that it may be a good idea to call Ami for some help with a surveillance system... or bullet proof glass.

HR.

The atmosphere at dinner that night was, surprisingly, not very much more tense than usual. Jadeite was mostly toying with his food, as were the two guests from the dark kingdom, who were wondering if they could just stop trying to bother with the weird sticks that these people used to eat and start using their claws.

Ranma was busy trying to explain to Akane exactly where he'd been all afternoon, why his mother had been so worried and what had happened at the park without saying it in such a way that she thought he'd done any of it on purpose, and judging from the lack of a twitching eyebrow, glowing aura or blunt object, he was succeeding. Finally, Kasumi was serving the portions, being careful to taste each food first, ensuring that Ranma had finished preparing them correctly.

All this Nabiki observed as she lounged at her own place, enjoying the taste of the food and analyzing everyone's expressions and actions to try and figure out what had happened, and if any of the betting pools needed updating.

Since Ranma and Akane were rather open books, and she hadn't quite gotten up the courage to ask why Kasumi had invited a giant Ninja Turtle to dinner, her attention turned to the Dark General who sat next to her. "Something wrong, Jadeite-san?" She asked, sounding almost as friendly and solicitous as Kasumi.

"A Jealous Snit," the blond muttered, looking up at her for a moment before returning to his food.

"Oh, those two? They'll kiss and make up eventually," The middle Tendo said, waving casually at Ranma and Akane, who had escalated to low-level bickering about the pros and cons of the girl charging into possibly dangerous situations.

"Not them," Jadeite responded. "The entire thing, all over some idiotic Terran Noble." For some reason, the man felt a little reluctant to insult Endymion, but he shook it off. Nabiki couldn't get any more out of the older man as he returned to his food, not even noticing as Ranma and Akane stomped out of the room, apparently towards the Dojo, and the Youma Kasumi had brought home interestedly followed them.

END.


	7. Chapter 5

Notes: Wow, two years, huh? It's mostly Weebee's fault, as he went into hibernation for about a year, being Canadian and all. We would have had a chapter of Council's Ace out a month ago, but a hard drive crash ate it.

For this fic in particular, this chapter is a... bit more serious than you're probably used to. We have no idea how that happened, and apologize profusely. Still, we find the chapter pretty good, and hope you enjoy it. Also, Jonak would like to interject that we should really stop determining major plot events using coin flips and the maxim, "Osaka is odd." No, that will never be explained.

Chapter 5:

"I just think it's kinda dumb for you to charge head first into a situation you've got no idea about, that's all," Ranma grumbled, as he and Akane entered the Dojo.

"Your mom was panicking and yelling for me, what was I supposed to do?" she shot back.

"Well, yeah, but you're always..." he trailed off, seeing the look on her face. "Fine, let's just do this."

"Could you follow any of that?" Toma, the large, turtle-like Youma asked, as she and her fellow stood near the door.

"I think they're preparing to fight, but he doesn't want her to," Veela, the shorter, purple skinned one replied.

"But why..." Toma was cut off as the two humans moved on some unseen signal, Akane charging towards Ranma with a hard punch that he nearly effortlessly leaned out of the way of, leaping into the air to avoid her followup sweep kick. The next several minutes were basically the same, as Akane launched attack after attack, Ranma nimbly dancing out of the way.

"Why isn't he fighting back?" Veela asked, turning to the more martial Youma.

"Maybe he's trying to create a large enough opening to put her down in one attack?" Toma guessed, rather confused herself.

"Ranma, why don't you ever fight me for real?!" Akane demanded, as she jumped away from her opponent.

Ranma simply rocked back on his heels, his hands clasped behind his back. "You keep askin' me that, and you can't figure out why I'm so worried about you chargin' into stupid situations?" This got an immediate response, as he rolled forward and to the left, avoiding an overhead smash. "And you've really gotta do better than that," he mocked, Akane pulling her hands from a hole they'd left in the wooden floor. "I mean, that Senshi I fought could have blasted you three times by now with all the holes you're leaving."

"He's trying to... provoke her?" Toma asked, confused.

Veela winced as Akane let out a bellow of rage and charged. "Well, it seems to be working."

Several seconds later, Akane had stopped again, this time with one of her fists rammed through a wall. She was panting for breath due to her exertion, and Ranma was once again standing, looking as casual as humanly possible. The female martial artist carefully extracted her hand from the wall, turning slowly and glaring at the male. For a second, it looked as though she was going to charge again, but instead, she began approaching slowly. He let himself slide into a defensive stance, as she began attacking, though the strikes seemed halfhearted.

"Akane, you wanna stop this?" he asked, looking rather uncertain.

"No," she replied, flatly, before her next attack, a straight punch, was thrown. It seemed almost to blur in the air, a nearly imperceptible red aura coating it, and slammed into Ranma's chest before he could bring up his arms to block. He flew backwards from the impact, but managed to recover in time to land on his feet approximately six meters away from her.

"I finally hit you!" she said, pumping her fist in the air.

Ranma smiled. "Yeah, about damned time," he grumbled.

What?" Akane demanded, obviously confused.

"I've been waitin' for you to figure out a way to land a solid hit on me in a spar for over a year," he explained, obviously seeming to think he shouldn't have to.

"So, what, you'll actually fight me for real now?" Akane asked, hopeful.

Ranma winced. "You really don't get it, huh?" he sighed, and slumped down on the floor, gesturing for Akane to sit down with him. "I really wanted ya to figure this out on your own, but I got a feeling that this Senshi thing is gunna be another big problem, and the last one of those almost got you killed..."

"Ranma, I..." Akane started, but was stopped by an upraised hand.

For her part, Toma felt vaguely uncomfortable, and wondered if she should start sidling for the door, but as she began to do so, Veela grasped her forearm. "I want to hear this," she whispered, gesturing at the two humans.

Toma just shook her head, but was stopped from saying anything as Ranma continued. "Akane, if I fought you for real, you'd die, and yeah, I know, you're a martial artist, but I was a martial artist when I was six. Should my old man have fought me all out?"

"Are... are you comparing me to... to a SIX YEAR OLD?" Akane's eyebrow was twitching.

"Actually, you're about at the level I was at when I was twelve," he responded, and then winced when a vein started to throb on Akane's forehead. Suddenly, he got up, and started pacing around, his hands clenching into fists. "You still don't get it... I'm crap at explaining things, I know that, but..."

Akane shot to her feet as well, glaring. "You keep saying I don't get it, what don't I get?!"

"You don't get that it was a compliment, you stupid tomboy!" He yelled. "I spent over a decade goin' through my old man's training. Barely any friends, barely any school, a broken bone every month or so... Let's not even talk about the damned c... things!" He continued to pace, and Akane, taken aback, let him do so. "You managed to have a life, a family! You got that good in about twice the time it took me, and you got all that! But you keep on ignoring every time I try and teach ya anything, thinking I'm insulting you."

"That's because you are!"

"Not all the time, and when I do, it's training..."

"No, it isn't!" Akane thundered. "Before he... stopped training us, Dad never insulted any of us. All of my training until you got here was based off of what he taught me, trying to put it to use. Your dad might have insulted you all the time to motivate you, but that doesn't work for everybody! You just kept ridiculing the Art I'd spent so long desperately trying to learn, despite the fact that no one was willing to teach me! How the heck am I supposed to know when you're telling me I'm doing a good job? You just compared me to a twelve year old without giving me any other explanation! You told me you wanted me to manage to hit you, but all you ever did was dodge, and call me... slow."

"Yeah, I guess I coulda been clearer," Ranma mumbled, looking down at the floor. He laughed, though it seemed to contain no humor. "I guess I'd'a been pretty useless at teaching in the Dojo, huh?"

"Well, um..." Akane said, uncertain how to respond.

"If you still wanna spar, I'll try and tell you what's wrong without the insults from now on," Ranma offered.

"Then I guess I'll try and tell you when you're doing it," Akane replied. "After all, if we do end up taking over the Dojo..." She trailed off yet again. They seemed to be doing a lot of that.

"Yeah, well... I guess we're done for now," Ranma said.

"So does that mean I won't be able to have a match against one of you?" Toma asked, and both humans turned, looking strangely at the two Youma near the door.

"You were here for all of that?" Akane asked, weakly.

"Were we supposed to leave? I thought we were going to be sparring." Toma replied.

"Yeah, well..." Ranma said, looking around the Dojo and back to Akane. "I don't think we'll be doing that tonight, sorry."

Both Youma nodded, and headed for the door as the two martial artists began to clean up the Dojo. "I thought we should have left," the turtle-like one said, irritably.

"Why? That was really interesting," Veela countered, as she reached out to open the sliding door.

"To you, maybe," Toma grumbled, as several thumps were heard from beyond the opening door. Cautiously, she took up a combat stance, but blinked as she caught sight of the rest of the Tendo family sprawled on the ground outside in a tangle of limbs.

"What..." she started, but was stopped by a rapid shushing motion from the long haired older man. Shrugging, the two Youma decided that it was none of their business and proceeded towards the house.

HR.

"A jealous snit..." No matter how many times he repeated it to himself, it didn't make sense. When he'd been working for queen Beryl, with the other generals, her goals had seemed to be something worth striving for. Now that he thought about it, however, he couldn't recall what he'd thought those goals were. Of course, lately, a disturbingly large amount of things hadn't been adding up. In particular, it had seemed rather odd to him that the middle Tendo daughter had been so capable of poking holes in his energy draining schemes. On further reflection, though, he'd realized that he'd originally thought of those plans while working for Beryl and dismissed them for similar reasons to those that had been pointed out.

He didn't like to think about it, but the possibility existed that something had gone wrong during his imprisonment in crystal. After all, Veela had told him that Beryl had never intended for him to ever wake up. Frowning, he made a decision, looking up from the patterned tablecloth he'd been staring at, only to see that the table was completely empty, and he was even missing his plate and chopsticks. Sighing, he headed upstairs.

HR.

"I can't believe I got caught," Nabiki grumbled to herself as she headed upstairs, ignoring her sister and father talking in the living room. Granted, Ranma and Akane's little soap opera was interesting to watch, but she shouldn't have gotten so distracted. Opening her bedroom door, she was jolted out of her thoughts of rummaging through her photo albums by the blond man casually sitting in her office chair.

"You know, this is kind of creepy," she observed, closing the door behind her.

"When everyone disappeared, I thought they had come up here," Jadeite explained. "I wasn't sure where you were so I decided to wait."

"And you wanted to speak to me because..."

"I learned some things about the Dark Kingdom today that I regret knowing," he answered. "I can't tell you most of them, but one thing I learned was that our queen was attempting to take over the solar system for some very... petty reasons."

"Well, she was an evil overlord, that kind of goes without saying," Nabiki responded.

"She destroyed the Moon kingdom in order to kill a love rival," he said, deadpan.

"Yeah, that's pretty petty," she agreed with a nod. "But what does this have to do with you ambushing me in my room?"

"Did you have to say it like that?" Jadeite grumbled, only to get her ever present smirk in return. "The reason I came here is because I don't want the same thing to happen to me. I'm not sure what I'm going to be doing, but it will definitely have to do with keeping the Dark Kingdom running, if for no other reason than that I need dark energy to stay alive. This will make me the King, and I would prefer at least one adviser who would be capable of telling me if I'm doing something monumentally stupid."

Nabiki's eyebrow rose. "You're actually putting in a contingency for that?"

"I've seen power corrupt, and I don't want to do something like imprisoning one of my generals when they've got key information I would need."

"Oddly specific example," Nabiki noted. "So what you're saying is that you want me to sign up to be an adviser to an evil overlord who doesn't even know what his goal is, strictly so I can tell him when his plans are stupid?"

"Yes," Jadeite nodded. "Exactly. Though I wish you would stop calling me an evil overlord."

"How much does it pay?"

The dark general only reached inside of his jacket and produced a small velvet bag. She reached out, taking it and looking inside. "This is..." she started, her eyes wide.

"This is a small portion of what you will make over your 'career.'"

"But, where did you get it? Did you rob a bank or something?" she asked, nervously.

"In a manner of speaking," Jadeite nodded. "The Dark Kingdom seized many valuables from the Earth and Moon Kingdoms when we invaded. That's how we paid for our previous operations."

Nabiki looked into the bag again, and gulped. "All right, then. I guess I'm yours."

Jadeite smiled, standing up and shaking her free hand. It felt weird, making a business deal in her bedroom with a guy wearing some demented military uniform, but she supposed she would have to dive back into the insanity at some point."So, is there anything you want to ask me about now?" she asked, taking the opportunity to swipe her desk chair back.

He shook his head. "Now that the Dark Kingdom is active again, I planned to leave the Dojo, taking Nodoka with me in order to get any information she has on how the world's changed while I was gone."

"Well, there's your first mistake," Nabiki interrupted, raising her right hand. Jadeite looked at her, confused, so she decided to elaborate. "Given how she reacted when you first showed up, Nodoka's going to go with you if you ask her to. But if she goes, Ranma's going to go to protect her. If Ranma goes, Akane is going to go also, to 'keep that idiot from getting in trouble.'" Nabiki lowered her hands from where she had used them to draw the quotations in the air. She then fixed him with an even look. "And if she goes, Kasumi and I go.""

"So you're saying, if I want to have Nodoka back, I'll end up taking the rest of you," he summarized.

She nodded. "And I'd work out a good, non-evil sounding explanation for what you're doing, too. Ranma and Akane have a habit of destroying evil plans... even if by accident."

"And you wouldn't have a problem with it if I, say, decided to take over the world?" the blond asked, somewhat incredulously.

"That never works. I'd just be sure to be far enough out of the way that the inevitable heroes don't get me when they get you."

Jadeite winced. "Well... that was... blunt." He seemed to think for a moment. "I will have to consider this." He then turned, leaving the room. Nabiki quickly stuck the pouch of gems she'd been given into a desk drawer, and started up her computer.

HR.

Ukyo made a concerted effort to ignore several factors as she worked at the Okonomiyaki on the grill. First was the fact that she was making breakfast so late. She'd already missed first period, and had pretty much resolved to skip for the day, given what had happened. Of course, what had happened was the other thing she was trying to ignore.

"U-Ukyo-sama, I brought the extra flour." Konatsu's voice intruded on her cooking, and she slipped, sending a few slices of tomato directly onto the grill.

"Damn it..." She grumbled, scooping them up with her spatula and dropping them to the side before turning to the male kunoichi. "Thanks, Konatsu." She said nothing else, taking the flour from his hands and placing it on the shelf nearby.

"Ukyo-sama," he continued, obviously uncertain.

"I don't want to talk about it," she snapped back.

"I'm sorry, Ukyo-sama, but this is something we really should talk about," Konatsu gently insisted.

"I said I don't want to talk about it!" she responded, turning and drawing her giant spatula. Konatsu just stood in front of her, waiting as her hands trembled. After a moment, she sighed, the overly large cooking implement clattering to the floor. "But yeah... I guess this is a pretty big deal."

"You regret it." Konatsu said, simply.

Ukyo stepped out from behind the counter and sat heavily on one of the stools surrounding the outside. "Of course, I regret it. Ranchan, I..." She seemed to choke for a moment. "I'm supposed to be the cute fiancee, damn it!"

"I don't understand," Konatsu said, sounding hurt. "You were the one who..."

"I know!" she screamed, and Konatsu had to duck out of the way of a throwing spatula that flew past his head. "I mean, it's not like I never thought about it," Ukyo continued. "You're pretty attractive, but... I have to marry Ranchan! He loves me... and... owes me... and... and it's a matter of honor!"

"Yes, Ranma loves you," Konatsu returned. "He's worried about you." He gave a humorless laugh. "Didn't you tell me he's tried to set you up with Ryoga-san a few times?"

"No, Ranchan does love me," she denied. "But it doesn't matter, because I..."

Konatsu sighed. He considered trying to walk up to her and comfort her, but looking at the gouge in the wall where her previously thrown spatula had landed, he reconsidered.

"Ukyo, this happened for one of two reasons. Either you love me - I really want this to be true, I won't deny it, and Ranma will be happy for you about it - or something was done to you to make last night happen, in which case Ranma won't hold it against you and neither of us will stop until we figure out who did it. You just need to decide which happened... or which you want to have happened."

"I'll think about it," Ukyo said hesitantly. "I think I'll need some time alone."

"I could open the restaurant..."

"No, that's fine," Ukyo couldn't help but laugh despite the situation. "The restaurant can stay closed for a day or two."

HR

"...in case of cat or pseudo-cat mauling, ghost attack, or ghost cat attack? What?" Makoto Kino had just finished reading through a rather large list of conditions and situations that the real estate agency refused to be held responsible for, and at this point was rather surprised that it had no listing for alien abduction. "You seriously want me to sign this?"

"Yes, Ma'am." the real estate agent replied, looking about as nervous as he'd sounded the day before. "We've had... incidents... before."

"Involving ghost cats?" Makoto asked, pointing her pen at the line in question.

"Well, none involving him directly, but since he's a danger we felt we should include the warning. Just don't accept any gifts of bells and you should be fine," he said.

"So you're... referring to a specific ghost cat, then." Makoto's tone was now getting rather incredulous. Granted, as a Senshi she'd fought a lot of strange things, but some of the things listed seemed to be very bad jokes.

The man sighed, and rubbed the bridge of his glasses. "Yes, Ma'am. If you don't believe the warnings, I would advise against renting a storefront in the Nerima shopping district."

"No, that's fine," she said, looking for the signature line at the bottom of the form. If these people wanted to play some weird publicity stunt amplifying the weirdness of the area, that was fine with her. The place would become truly strange, and probably dangerous, if an evil force of some sort were to set up shop there. Scratching her name in the space provided, she handed the several page long document back to the agent, who put it in his desk and produced the rent agreement.

"All right, Ma'am, all you've got to do now is sign here."

HR.

"Nihao!" Makoto almost dropped the crock pot she was holding as a bubbly voice intruded on her attempts to get her new kitchen set up in time for opening the next morning. Turning, she saw three figures standing in the middle of the main room of her newly rented little shop. Her attention immediately focused on the one in the middle, a wrinkled, tiny figure who was balancing on some form of staff. "Gah! Youma!" she yelped, backing up and wondering if she could get away to transform.

The thing blinked at her for a moment, apparently surprised by the outburst. "I've never been called that before," it grumbled, in a female sounding yet scratchy voice, before its staff seemed to blur and Makoto felt a stinging pain in the side of her head. "Don't do it again."

"Great-Grandmother, you not supposed to scare, remember?" the purple haired girl reminded, irritably.

"Just who are you, and why are you here?" Makoto asked, politeness being overtaken by confusion and the pain in the side of her head.

"My name is Ku-Lon," the old... thing... on the staff said. "My great-granddaughter, Mr. Part-time and I are here to welcome you to Nerima on behalf of the Neriman Restaurant Association. Mr. Part-time, if you would?"

The boy with the glasses nodded, and then produced a basket twice the size of his head from his right sleeve.

"Huh?" Makoto muttered, approaching the basket where it'd been put on a table. Gingerly, she reached out to flip open the top to see several rolls of ofuda, a large pamphlet labeled 'Takana-Sensei's Martial Arts Construction Dojo, rates enclosed,' and a giant bowl of still steaming ramen.

"The wards help with spiritual intrusions, and you're going to need the construction company information at some point," the thing on the staff explained. "The Ramen's just because setting up a restaurant is hungry work."

Curious, Makoto picked up a roll of wards, flipping through them. They gave her the same strange, slight tingling sensation that holding the ones Rei made did, though the characters on them were different. "Why are you giving me all of this?"

"We just want to help out a fellow restauranteur," the thing said, smiling broadly. "We'd be glad to help you set the place up."

"Oh. Well that's nice of you," Makoto replied, smiling back, even if the expression on the other's face gave her a slight case of the creeps.

"Glad to help," the wrinkled figure said, before grabbing one of the rolls of wards and beginning to lay them out. "So, why did you decide to come to Nerima?"

"You no know boy named Ranma, yes?" the purple haired girl interjected, only to get a harsh glare from her great-grandmother.

"No," Makoto said, confused. "Should I?"

"No, my great-granddaughter just has a bit of a crush on one of the local trouble makers, that's all."

"Troublemaker, she says," the boy in the white robes said, as he walked past the three of them carrying a chair. "The fiend Saotome is a violator of women!"

"Shampoo think Mousse hang round stick boy too too much," the purple haired girl said, before turning to Makoto again. "You know girl with same name?"

For some reason, the old woman on the staff began rubbing her forehead and muttering about idiot children.

END.


End file.
